Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Halfway Home

In my previous blogs, you may have giggled a little, laughed a lot, rolled your eyes or found no interest whatsoever in what I had to chirp about; clicking the red X box to log off! And that's fine, and it is!
Entering my 40's, two great sayings; or mantra's, or motto's, that I still love and have brought with me into my fourth decade are, "it's all good!" and "no worries!" Did you notice the exclamation points? If you say it, mean it! Own it! Express it! Live it! We all know this is crap and is easier said than done. However, our intentions are always good. Are they not? I have the best of intentions. I also have a severe lack discipline, cuss like I'm trying to meet a 'curse word quota,' and procrastinate like no other! Procrastination is the worst trait or characteristic to possess; I'd improve upon it, but I'm too busy procrastinating! It's awful!!! And that is no joke!
Not really knowing my Dad's side of the family, I can only do the numbers based on my Mom's side of the family. I lost my Grandfather three months after his 80th birthday. I lost my Grandmother one week before her 80th birthday. 80! Hummm? If God grants me the life; to allow eighty balloons in a room, with a cake that is topped with two candles, an 8 and a 0. A room filled with family, close friends, and even Great Grandchildren who won't want to be there because they'll have better things to do... I would be the happiest birthday girl in the room!!!
Is it bad that I feel like I am halfway home? I'm forty now, and although Math wasn't my best subject, I know that in another forty, God willing, I will be eighty. I'm in the 'second act,' 'round two,' or what about 'part two?' Now, what do I want to be when I grow up? What pressure! At what age do we grow up? There are certainly stages and milestones in our life. But do we ever really grow up? I am a firm believer that age is just a number; that your attitude and mindset will guide you to more positive places, and I don't mean geographically.
I have friends who are puzzled that I speak up for myself, can make small talk with almost anyone, can speak in front of a crowd; saying, "I wish I could do that!" Well, why can't you? You, are your only obstacle. You may need to read that again. You, are the only one who may be making excuses. You, need to take ownership of you. Because You, are limitless! You have no limits! You are unlimited! The limits or obstacles that you create, are just that, ones You create! So, stop it already!
Your life should have no regrets. Life is about taking chances, enjoying your family, being blessed with good friends and relationships, being grateful you woke up today and taking full advantage of the day. It's about doing things you love, and compromising when you need to. Speaking up for yourself and taking ownership with everything you do. Admitting when you are wrong and apologizing if you need to, sincerely.
I knew a man who was always sharing with me how envious he was that I was so close with my family and that he wished his family were like that. To this day, that man now has a family of his own and still has no good connection with his own family; his parents, his siblings, his nieces and nephews. I wonder, what will that do for his children and for their future families? Break the cycle. Set the example, and lead by that example.
Many years ago, I was good friends with colleague at work. She was out for a week or two and no one really knew why. One day she came back in, stopped by to say hello and to speak with management. She stopped by my desk only for a quick hello. I said, "How are you?" and in a voice that sounded like she had the worst cold ever, she said, "Sick." Thinking she had a horrible cold or the flu, in a jokingly manner, I said, "Well, don't give it to me!" I think I caught her off guard with that statement, she rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, I won't." She proceeded to the back to speak with management and I never get to see her before she left. She passed away just a few weeks after. Turns out, she didn't have a horrible cold. She had been crying because she learned she had a brain tumor. She was there to speak with management and human resources, and to also clean out her locker. She later learned the tumor was inoperable. I called to let her know I was thinking about her; which how do you call someone with an inoperable brain tumor? It was difficult. Making it even more unbearable, all she could say was, "You're not going to get it! Don't worry, you're not going to get it!" She remembered our previous conversation very clearly. She was crying and not making much sense. That was a very emotional phone call. Her husband reassured me that she was on numerous medications and that she wasn't angry at me. She was just angry, and that it was the meds talking. From the time she was out of work, to the time she passed away, it was no more than two months total. She was mid forties, newly married and so upset that management gave her one amount for a raise and she thought she deserved more. She was living her life. I wonder if she would have done anything differently? If she had any regrets? If she said all the 'I love yous' she wanted, and if she heard them as well?
If you want to do something, do it! Do it with love and do it with conviction! Stop procrastinating! Take ownership and enjoy your day. Stop saying you'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow is an assumption, not a guarantee!


  1. That story about your friend makes me sad. I'm glad y'all got to talk, even if it was difficult for you both.
    I'm hoping for at least 80 years myself! :) I want to get to enjoy grandchildren & great-grandchildren!! Hey, we can be the wild & crazy ladies at the assisted living home!! (Christina, you too! lol)

  2. May I add that you were GREAT in calling her and being there for her, even if it wasn't in person. You know that I cannot do as much as I want to. But, you are absolutely right on in your last paragraph. As my saying on the refrige says, "Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here - let's dance."