Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Off to a great start!
Though I haven't weighed myself, my clothes are fitting better.  Just over one week in, there have been highs and lows, but overall, it's been a decent week.  I have no complaints.  Who would I complain to?  Who would I blame?  At some point, one should simply to take ownership.  Nothing "simple" about that statement.
If you're not happy, it's your fault.  That's such a bold statement, yet it's so true.  Making yourself priority isn't selfish, it's necessary.  This is also a bold statement and without a doubt, easier said than done.  There's only so many hours in a day.  My days used to be consumed by doing for others.  I'm a firm believer that you should be good to others, but, you should be better to yourself.
I'll jump on the scale soon enough.  Until then, I'm happy knowing that the baby steps I'm taking are landing me in looser fitting clothes. 
What I do know is this... fat friends do NOT like their fat friends losing weight!  Just when you thought you needed to channel every ounce of strength within yourself to proceed, for yourself, with what you feel is in your best interest; as your dropping pounds, decreasing in inches and improving your health and well being...  You will instead need to divvy out some of that strength to say "no" to your friends, who want to celebrate your milestones by taking you out to dinner.
As you shop for new clothes, you may need to shop for new friends.  It's harder to maintain friendships after weight loss, than actually maintaining the weight loss itself.  Let's hope my friends prove me wrong on this one!

Monday, September 3, 2012

119 DAYS

Happy Labor Day, kids!
I'm a migraine girl, and with that, the silliest things can trigger a headache.  That headache, if not treated in a timely manner, can take me out... quickly!!!  Unfortunately, even when treated in a timely manner, the wrath still relentlessly persists.  I typically know the triggers: periods (not every month, but enough to be aggravated by them), floral scented perfumes, air fresheners and such, spending too much time in bright sunlight and the improper set-up of my pillow.  Yes, my pillow.  If my pillow isn't folded in half, lengthwise and on the 'right' side up (yes, there's a 'wrong' side up)... it will lead to horrible headaches.  Usually, as soon as I lay down, I know!  Last night, it wasn't folded correctly, so I adjusted it and fell asleep.  At one point through the night it must have come unfolded, because the headache that woke me was not good.  However, I wouldn't adjust it.  It would've taken all but a few seconds to raise my hands, adjust the pillow and return to my ZZZZzzzzz's.  Instead, I (throughout the night) kept trying to reposition my head and neck.  It's like when you have to pee at 3am.  Your body is telling you that you have to pee, but you don't want to be bothered to get up, so instead, you try to trick your body by changing your position.  Which only works for 8-10 minutes anyway; if you're lucky!  I was trying to change my position.  I failed myself miserably, because when I got up this morning, I had the worst headache.  Not a great start to my day, but all my doing, just the same.
A decent day, with somewhat of a decent menu and some leg work (with ankle weights) to boot!  Breakfast (9am) was a golf ball size potato, chopped and cooked in a splash of canola oil and water to just cover the bottom of the skillet.  (water being added from time to time, so not to scorch)  Two scrambled eggs and 4 Advil Liquigels I chased down with a half glass of Pepsi.  Believe me.... I WaNtEd MORE Pepsi.... my head was rockin'!  I had water instead (which is no biggie, I like water).  Throbbing headache was gone 30 minutes later.  Lunch (3pm) was 1/2 serving of leftover baked chicken breast, 1 1/2 c steamed carrots, 1 sm granny smith apple and a Breyers All Fruit Bar.  Only to eat again at 4:30pm, when I had a bowl of Special K Blueberry Cereal.  Enjoyed dinner at 7:30pm.  Not too hungry... had a couple of bites of baked chicken breast, some green beans and some instant mashed potatoes.  (I was visiting friends, and that's what they served)  They also, very successfully, guilted me into a piece of cake!  Truth be told, it was kinda dry... but my reasoning to indulge in the first place... it was Labor Day!  I could've indulged, I mean really indulged, but I didn't!
It was a decent day of food choices.  I'd give myself a B-... Like I said, I could have really indulged!!!
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.....
No doubt, I'll sleep better tonight!!!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

120 DAYS

Hello September!
September 2012
I remember growing up and always being told, "You just wait, time flys by when you're older!"  "The older you are, the faster it goes!"  "You wake up one day and wonder where did all those years go, where did the time go?"  It also seemed, the older the person was, the more they would share these statements.  You certainly don't hear this from a 25 year old!  Not a 30 year old!  Although, you will hear it from them if they have children.  They measure the days gone by, by how 'big' their child is now.
I'm not as old as some and certainly not as young as others.  However, I am a firm believer of "Age is just a number."  It's not your age that defines who you are, it's how you're living your life that defines who you are.  How I live my life and how you live your life may not be the same.  Although if you feel love (by either being loved or having loved), if you feel a sense of joy, a sense of purpose, a sense of fulfillment and maybe even a sense of self... I would have to say you're on your way.  Maybe even those few things aren't on your agenda.  Maybe they're not objectives of yours; that's okay too.  I have several objectives as I live my life.... and believe me, there's not enough blog space.  My list of lifes' objectives gets longer as I get older.
As I open up Fall storage containers and admire clothes I know I was going to fit into this season (yeah, they don't flippin' fit, but they look cute on hangers)... As I stumble into September, knowing I do more for others than for myself (yeah, why did God make me so damn kind and selfless)....  As I come to the realization that after three years of not having a full time job, I start one in less than a week (I've waited a long time for the best fit, this is a GREAT fit)... As I'm acknowledging that 43 is a mere four months away...FORTY-THREE..... I may look like my Mom, but I do not look 43.  I'm not even sure what 43 looks like, I just know when people find out how old I am, they think I'm 28-36.  Hot damn!!!  I'll take it!  Yes, age is just a number... but, when you have others thinking your number is LoWeR than what it really is, then HOORAY!!!  No, these aren't drunk people, or people who owe me money, or people who are trying to get me into bed... these are sober, truth telling, 20/20 seeing people!!!  I'm pretty sure the day I'll look 43, is the day I turn 56!  I can hear it now, "You're 56??? You don't look a day over 43!!!" (i've been practicing my 'Thank You face' for this)
So, the moral of my story today... everything is finally falling into place.  After several years of trial and error with jobs, poor choices of friends, overall lessons learned and stress weighing me down- one pound at a time... I say.... NOW, let's move forward!!!  Financially things are improving!  Now it's time to improve physically!  I am sometimes hindered by psoriatic arthritis, but it's my reality, not my excuse.  I do allow stress to dictate my menu; not everyday, but more than it should!  I do know how to eat right, I do know how to exercise... but, don't we all?  It's safe to say, I'm not consistent!  Well, except for the last three years, I've been a Consistent Hot Mess!
So, for the next 4 months, I shall channel consistency!
The goal: to lose 75 lbs.
16 weeks.... Hell, I just looked it up.... Make that 17 weeks!
I turn 43 on Dec 31, which is a Monday. 
Sunday Sept 2-Sun Dec 30 is 17 weeks!
120 days...................... Bye Bye Pepsi- I will miss you!!!