Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Flat-Chested Triangle, a shape not yet sung about on Sesame Street!

So yes, I weighed in on the 21st of January. The scale made its way to 219.4.

However, here I am in the middle of a heavy period and I feel as though I weigh 246 once again. What a roller coaster! It's said that women are more moody and more emotional creatures then men... Gee, I wonder why?

Is it disrespectful that I'm wondering if my God isn't an overweight woman? I say this because, what I do know is that, at least among women, fat friends don't like their fat friends to lose weight! Sure, they smile and offer well wishes on the outside... if their Mothers' raised them right. But, on the inside, they're sitting in a Krispy Kreme having a major meltdown.

My weight is gradually coming down; the inches too, are also coming off. Inches off my bra size! This is NOT where I need the inches to come off! I do think my God is a fluffy female, because if I do put a few pounds back on, like this week for example, the inches don't return to the boobage. The inches always seem to find a new place to call home, on my ass. I look like a flat-chested, wide-load triangle. Just not as pointy. Only a fluffy female would do that to another fluffy female. If my God were a man, it would surely be the other way around. Most men like a bigger top and a smaller bottom. The best thing about my God? My God allowing me to have such a peculiar, borderline controversial, sense of humor.

I will make my God proud on Monday, January 31st, when my flat-chested, triangular body gets on the scale. Through this glorious period, may the three digits read 219 or less!!!

1 comment:

  1. I like your logic on this one! :)And I hope you see good results on Monday!!