Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Extra Credit Points aren't Just for School!

Four days until Christmas, two days until my period... Calgon take me away! Some of you may not understand the Calgon statement; what can I say, YOUTUBE it!
The good news today is that I made my way to the gym, the bad news is that I passed the gym on my way to Dairy Queen! The best news of the day? Double Cheeseburger Meal was on promo for $3.99. I did substitute the fries with onion rings and yes, I loved every single delicious, calorie loaded, grease soaked bite!
My Mother raised a thoughtful woman though, as I passed by the gym, I waved and said, "Hello- I won't be in today." No, really I did.... complete with the cupped-hand, pageant wave. Well, I just figured I'd say the my "Hello" on the way to Dairy Queen because if I were to wave and say my "Hello" after Dairy Queen, my mouth would be full! My MaMa raised a lady, people!
Usually my fastfood choice for period week is McDonalds, but DQ was calling my name today! And it was flippin' delicious!!! No, I will not be in the gym today. Yes, I will be working out at home tonight! The music will be up and sweats will be on (complete with bandana- please see previous post for details)! Memories of my Dairy Queen fieldtrip will get me through my hour workout! And yes, I ordered a Coke! Not a Diet Coke... a Coke! Own your Double Cheeseburger Meal, people!!!
Dear Santa (per previous post), please allow me to revise; I would like Discipline..... and Calgon.... and 12 vouchers for a FREE Double Cheeseburger Meal at Dairy Queen to get me through each 'period week' in 2011!
You know, a few days ago I was behind a man, maybe mid twenties, in line at the grocery store. He was purchasing only two items: tampons and Advil. For whatever reason, he felt the need to share his thoughts, when he looked to me and said, "I don't think you ladies understand how hard it is for us guys to buy these things." Then I shared my thoughts on his 'purchase', by looking at him and saying, "Well, are you buying EXACTLY what she told you to? The least you could do is throw in a few of her favorite candy bars and a Cosmo magazine!" He said, "Really?" I said, "Well, extra credit points aren't just for school, you know! Besides, chocolate makes us happy and if she's reading a magazine she won't be bitching at you!"
Hopefully my couple of suggestions were taken as spontaneous and thoughtful on his part. And he may not know it yet, but in a week or two, he will reap the benefits of being so spontaneous and thoughtful. The Cosmo magazine he purchased was featuring several fascinating must reads: 'Make Him Grin and Bare It Tonight', '69 New Ways to Satisfy Your Man' and 'Clothing Optional Workouts for Couples.'
No doubt he won't mind buying her 'monthly essentials', in the future!

1 comment:

  1. LMAO! Take it on the road woman!! You need your own reality show, or radio show, or something!! You are FUNNY!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!