December...... How are you?
The leaves were absolutely beautiful this fall. More beautiful than I remember in my four years in Georgia. The leaves are on the ground now, leaving the trees naked and cold. There is something beautiful about a bare tree in the overcast winter months. Vulnerable in its appearance, yet oddly impressive with its strength and its patience to just stand there and wait. Waiting for spring to arrive and provide it with a whole new wardrobe of leaves.
Spring is beautiful. However, the colors of fall make my eyes dance with happiness!
December is a hectic month for most. A month of spending beyond our means for gifts to clutter the home, collect dust and that may only be used, appreciated and enjoyed for only a month or two. Items we're bound to donate to Goodwill or will part with at a garage sale for .50 a year or so later. Granted, we were asking $2 for that item, but we got tired of arguing and settled for .50; not even two quarters, but three dimes, one nickel and fifteen pennies.
December is filled with yummy homemade goodies, menus that impress and lots of very merry hot totties; or for the less domestic, several party platters and a keg! Eat it up kids. That's the holiday mentality..... Eat now and start the diet January 1st! Why break tradition!
I think many are scaling back with their gift giving, aren't we all broke? Hopefully no one scales back with their unconditional love and appreciation for wonderful family and friends.
A very merry to ya!
May you share in memories, love and laughter this December.... and everyday!
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Friday, December 2, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
41 and Counting
Inches VS Pounds?!?
The true objective is overall improved health. Though I've decreased in inches, the pounds are hanging on with all their might. They are relentless. However, being almost 42, I know age does play a factor. My age is not an excuse, it is my reality. The psoriatic arthritis can also hinder, which is also my reality. The results are showing, but they are taking their sweet time with their arrival.
Age...... Don't even get me started!
I'm not bothered by my age at all. I'm not spending dollars right and left trying to defy the aging process. Botox doesn't interest me in the least. I am a fan of hair color. I often ask myself, am I more grateful for hair color or make up? Always a tie, as I love them both! I think a decent moisturizer does wonders for the face and complexion; that's about all I invest in, besides true make up. I'm not a fan of my surplus neck, but what woman is? I've not met her yet.
Plastic surgery... To each their own! If you have the money, the insurance, the time, the faith and a good doctor.... then order up! Personally, I'm happy with what God has given me to work with. That's exactly what I'm doing too, working with it. I'm a firm believer that if you're not happy, it's your fault. So, with that, I myself have been striving to improve.... not because I'm not happy, but because I would like to be the best version of myself. Life is too short for that to be optional.
No matter what the age, some advice I could offer:
Don't get fat.... It's not good for your joints, your organs and your overall health. It's not good for your self esteem, your self worth or your confidence.
Don't stay from the gym too long...... Make new friends, challenge yourself with new machines or classes, enjoy the YOU time while you're there.... No children, No spouse (typically), No demands... Just YOU taking care of YOU! (no need to complain about membership prices. add up what you spend in a month for dining out (breakfast, lunch & dinner) and your gym membership will likely be less than your dining out total)
Shop the perimeter at the grocery store..... Read the labels before you buy...... Know what you're putting on your plate and putting in your body!
Spend more time in the Produce department.....Try something new! and Don't fry it!
Drink more water.... Add lemon or other fresh fruit!
Eat a donut..... Do not eat a dozen donuts!
Drive past the Drive Thru's!
A friend asked yesterday, what I was doing. She could tell I had lost some weight. When I told her I was eating better than ever and in the gym at least 4 times a week, I think she was disappointed it wasn't a magic pill or shake doing the 'work'. I've been doing the' work'. And yes, there are some days I do take time off 'work', but overall, I'm happy with the progress.
We're all a work in progress, in one way or another.
The true objective is overall improved health. Though I've decreased in inches, the pounds are hanging on with all their might. They are relentless. However, being almost 42, I know age does play a factor. My age is not an excuse, it is my reality. The psoriatic arthritis can also hinder, which is also my reality. The results are showing, but they are taking their sweet time with their arrival.
Age...... Don't even get me started!
I'm not bothered by my age at all. I'm not spending dollars right and left trying to defy the aging process. Botox doesn't interest me in the least. I am a fan of hair color. I often ask myself, am I more grateful for hair color or make up? Always a tie, as I love them both! I think a decent moisturizer does wonders for the face and complexion; that's about all I invest in, besides true make up. I'm not a fan of my surplus neck, but what woman is? I've not met her yet.
Plastic surgery... To each their own! If you have the money, the insurance, the time, the faith and a good doctor.... then order up! Personally, I'm happy with what God has given me to work with. That's exactly what I'm doing too, working with it. I'm a firm believer that if you're not happy, it's your fault. So, with that, I myself have been striving to improve.... not because I'm not happy, but because I would like to be the best version of myself. Life is too short for that to be optional.
No matter what the age, some advice I could offer:
Don't get fat.... It's not good for your joints, your organs and your overall health. It's not good for your self esteem, your self worth or your confidence.
Don't stay from the gym too long...... Make new friends, challenge yourself with new machines or classes, enjoy the YOU time while you're there.... No children, No spouse (typically), No demands... Just YOU taking care of YOU! (no need to complain about membership prices. add up what you spend in a month for dining out (breakfast, lunch & dinner) and your gym membership will likely be less than your dining out total)
Shop the perimeter at the grocery store..... Read the labels before you buy...... Know what you're putting on your plate and putting in your body!
Spend more time in the Produce department.....Try something new! and Don't fry it!
Drink more water.... Add lemon or other fresh fruit!
Eat a donut..... Do not eat a dozen donuts!
Drive past the Drive Thru's!
A friend asked yesterday, what I was doing. She could tell I had lost some weight. When I told her I was eating better than ever and in the gym at least 4 times a week, I think she was disappointed it wasn't a magic pill or shake doing the 'work'. I've been doing the' work'. And yes, there are some days I do take time off 'work', but overall, I'm happy with the progress.
We're all a work in progress, in one way or another.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
BlogSpot I've missed you!
Wow... March! Has it really been since March?
I'm not even typing this now. I will officially be returning to That Shannon in August. Consider this your That Shannon 'teaser.'
I haven't been feeling well. Only now, have I been feeling better. If you've read my previous posts, you know I have psoriasis. My psoriasis had evolved into psoriatic arthritis. I had had minor symptoms of psoriatic arthritis in the past. However, more recently, the symptoms were not so minor. Painful! Exhausting! Debilitating!
I'm blessed to be on Humira, which seems to be improving everything. The skin, the joint pain, the swelling, the nails; well...... all of it. My doc was convinced that because I was such a hot mess, Humira would give me a quicker result than my previous prescribed drug, Enbrel. "Why did you go off Enbrel?", you ask. Lack of a full time job (thanks to budget cuts in 2009 with a company I had been with for almost 10 years), resulted in lack of health insurance. Lack of health insurance, resulted in no Enbrel.
I was actually testing my body too, to see how long before the drug would be NEEDED. The answer... One year. Thanks to Cobra I could continue for a while, but, ran dry of coverage May 2010. Been on Humira since May 2011. I am so very grateful. The joint pain and swelling have decreased tremendously, the skin looks almost flawless and the nails are coming along too!
I went to the gym today. Not my first day back, but still felt foreign to me. Not as comfortable as I once was. I am going more often though, so, in time...
I'm thankful for the Advil I have on hand, every time I go. It assists with the inevitable swelling.
I missed the gym these last several months. I missed looking and feeling normal. I do NOT miss feeling like I was beat up every day in a boxing ring. I know there are worse things to be diagnosed with. I would never try to make light of someone diagnosed with a serious illness or disease. I can only make light of and make fun of myself and my experiences.
Laughter really is the best medicine! And Advil!!! And Humira!!!!!!
Wow... March! Has it really been since March?
I'm not even typing this now. I will officially be returning to That Shannon in August. Consider this your That Shannon 'teaser.'
I haven't been feeling well. Only now, have I been feeling better. If you've read my previous posts, you know I have psoriasis. My psoriasis had evolved into psoriatic arthritis. I had had minor symptoms of psoriatic arthritis in the past. However, more recently, the symptoms were not so minor. Painful! Exhausting! Debilitating!
I'm blessed to be on Humira, which seems to be improving everything. The skin, the joint pain, the swelling, the nails; well...... all of it. My doc was convinced that because I was such a hot mess, Humira would give me a quicker result than my previous prescribed drug, Enbrel. "Why did you go off Enbrel?", you ask. Lack of a full time job (thanks to budget cuts in 2009 with a company I had been with for almost 10 years), resulted in lack of health insurance. Lack of health insurance, resulted in no Enbrel.
I was actually testing my body too, to see how long before the drug would be NEEDED. The answer... One year. Thanks to Cobra I could continue for a while, but, ran dry of coverage May 2010. Been on Humira since May 2011. I am so very grateful. The joint pain and swelling have decreased tremendously, the skin looks almost flawless and the nails are coming along too!
I went to the gym today. Not my first day back, but still felt foreign to me. Not as comfortable as I once was. I am going more often though, so, in time...
I'm thankful for the Advil I have on hand, every time I go. It assists with the inevitable swelling.
I missed the gym these last several months. I missed looking and feeling normal. I do NOT miss feeling like I was beat up every day in a boxing ring. I know there are worse things to be diagnosed with. I would never try to make light of someone diagnosed with a serious illness or disease. I can only make light of and make fun of myself and my experiences.
Laughter really is the best medicine! And Advil!!! And Humira!!!!!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Two Full Plates, One Zipper Down and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!
On my Christmas Wish List this year: DISCIPLINE!
Dear Santa,
Please bring me discipline! I'll take it in a pill form, a nasty tasting beverage, intravenously or even as a suppository! I NEED discipline! I also need to be friends with people who suck at cooking and who suck even more at baking! I need to attend holiday gatherings where there was a kitchen fire and all that's being served, is burnt to a crisp! Where's the friend who bakes and confuses salt for sugar? I am friends with none of these people. Damn it!
Thank you for the invites and for encouraging me to have another serving at your yummy parties. Where everyone attending is doing the same thing.... eating, drinking and being merry!!! I'm unsure how many were doing what I was doing; hiding my unzipped pants under my lengthy, cozy turtleneck!
Tis the season to be challenged by the Holiday 7! It's said that the average American gains 7 lbs from November through the New Year; 7 lbs overall, not each month. Or each week, for that matter. So far, I've gained 1. ONE POUND! The good news? My bathroom time this season is reminding me that I am eating better. If you indulge in holiday goodies after spending months eating a much improved diet, you will be spending more time in the bathroom; with your body wondering, "What the hell did you feed me? What did I ever do to you?"
I'm due to start my period the 23rd. I'm confident to share that the Holiday 7 will be exceeded this week! Okay, maybe not. More water, less PMS cravings! There was a time that I would gain anywhere from 5-12 lbs the week of my period. But, maintaining a more disciplined diet that week specifically, has reduced the weight gain (which always vanished after the period anyway) to only about 3 lbs. And the horrid migraines I used to have monthly, are no longer monthly at all. Practically quarterly, maybe less!
This Holiday 7, is this the same for both men and women? Just seems like women would gain more than 7, at least 10! Typically, the women are the ones in the kitchen, taste-testing as they go. In general, women have little to no will power. Women also have more cravings than men, and more often than men. Men crave sex! Well, a meal that includes a piece of meat that Fred Flinstone would enjoy, and then sex! If women would crave sex more, and would satisfy that craving like she does a can of pringles.... craving: SATISFIED and potential weight issue: SOLVED!!!
Dear Santa,
Please bring me discipline! I'll take it in a pill form, a nasty tasting beverage, intravenously or even as a suppository! I NEED discipline! I also need to be friends with people who suck at cooking and who suck even more at baking! I need to attend holiday gatherings where there was a kitchen fire and all that's being served, is burnt to a crisp! Where's the friend who bakes and confuses salt for sugar? I am friends with none of these people. Damn it!
Thank you for the invites and for encouraging me to have another serving at your yummy parties. Where everyone attending is doing the same thing.... eating, drinking and being merry!!! I'm unsure how many were doing what I was doing; hiding my unzipped pants under my lengthy, cozy turtleneck!
Tis the season to be challenged by the Holiday 7! It's said that the average American gains 7 lbs from November through the New Year; 7 lbs overall, not each month. Or each week, for that matter. So far, I've gained 1. ONE POUND! The good news? My bathroom time this season is reminding me that I am eating better. If you indulge in holiday goodies after spending months eating a much improved diet, you will be spending more time in the bathroom; with your body wondering, "What the hell did you feed me? What did I ever do to you?"
I'm due to start my period the 23rd. I'm confident to share that the Holiday 7 will be exceeded this week! Okay, maybe not. More water, less PMS cravings! There was a time that I would gain anywhere from 5-12 lbs the week of my period. But, maintaining a more disciplined diet that week specifically, has reduced the weight gain (which always vanished after the period anyway) to only about 3 lbs. And the horrid migraines I used to have monthly, are no longer monthly at all. Practically quarterly, maybe less!
This Holiday 7, is this the same for both men and women? Just seems like women would gain more than 7, at least 10! Typically, the women are the ones in the kitchen, taste-testing as they go. In general, women have little to no will power. Women also have more cravings than men, and more often than men. Men crave sex! Well, a meal that includes a piece of meat that Fred Flinstone would enjoy, and then sex! If women would crave sex more, and would satisfy that craving like she does a can of pringles.... craving: SATISFIED and potential weight issue: SOLVED!!!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Does your Gym sell Buttered Popcorn?
Okay... so I have no idea which is more challenging? A healthy grocery list on a $25.00 a week budget or getting to the gym on a regular basis? I try to make a game out of both! My favorite game growing up: Hide and Seek!
I love the gym! I love the feeling when I walk into the gym! I love all that I accomplish when I'm at the gym! I feel a little firmer when I leave the gym! However, I don't 'schedule' time for the gym! I don't make the gym a priority! It's typically an after thought. I do workout hard at the gym... when I go. There was a time that I was going 4, even 5 days a week, but, that was a long time ago! (calm down.... I'm working on it!)
I do tend to feel guilty if I don't go to the gym on a regular basis. Not because I'm depriving my body of a grueling workout in fluorescent lighting, but because I'm paying for it! I have a monthly membership; with a reasonable rate, considering I'm good friends with the girl who used to sleep with the owner (his ex-wife). I just need more discipline and less procrastination! It's a process..... and I am a work in progress! So, I use my hand weights, my body ball and my pilates machine; which are all conveniently located right here at home, for when I do feel consumed with guilt for not working out at the gym.
Some people ask why I have a gym membership when I can use these items at home? Well, I pay next to nothing for the membership, I workout on several more machines at the gym, and it's a chance to meet new people.
Recently, a 'new friend to be' approached me while I was on the elliptical (which I LOVE the elliptical). She said "Wow, you're really in the zone!" She also had this really impressed look on her face. I didn't think I had understood her, so I said, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She said, "Well, I said 'You're working hard!' But then you didn't hear me, so I thought, 'Wow you're really in the zone!'" Yes, I love the elliptical! Yes, I was sweaty and slightly out of breath! Yes, I was 'in the zone.' I was FOCUSED! How wonderful of her to notice! But.... I was not focused on my 'workout'..... while on the elliptical, I was watching The Food Network and the most amazing recipe for Savory Southern Fried Chicken was on. No, I did not confess that I was focusing on The Food Network! I politely shook my head in agreement that I was "in the zone." And NO, the Food Network channel should NOT be permitted in the gym! The channel that may entice people to work out hard and really, really stay focused at the gym? The Plus Size Porn channel! Is there such a channel... I have no idea! But, I am sure that if such a channel existed, and it was available at the gym, every machine would be filled, pounds would be shed and memberships would be through the roof!!! (background checks included)
Grocery list this week, did not include ingredients to Savory Southern Fried Chicken! What I do know about myself, even with the best of intentions for this process? If it's in the house, I will eat it! Even if I plan to buy something (which I have no business buying) and portion-baggie it out (it sounded reasonable in my head), I need to NOT do it! Poor decision item this week? Bugles! My intentions were to baggie them out and they'd last a while; I wasn't depriving myself of something yummy, salty and crunchy (and cute... Bugles are cute), and they were on sale! Well damn if I didn't eat the bag in two days! Yes, it was a family size bag! Yes, it was good! No, I will not be doing that again!!!
In general, I shop the perimeter. I went down actual aisles this week, one aisle for tuna (solid white) and the other for the Bugles (UUGGHH!) Chicken breast, some fresh produce, eggs, yogurt, tilapia and shrimp. (do I sound thin or what?)
OOPS, shared too soon. Did 'impulse' buy at the checkout. Berry flavored Gummie Life Savers, two bags, $1 each, no guilt to confess to, they're yummy and a couple here and there will keep me from being mean! And... I'm going to need some type of 'concession stand' goodie when I'm on the elliptical, watching The Plus Size Porn channel; my gym doesn't sell buttered popcorn!
Like I said..... work in progress!
I love the gym! I love the feeling when I walk into the gym! I love all that I accomplish when I'm at the gym! I feel a little firmer when I leave the gym! However, I don't 'schedule' time for the gym! I don't make the gym a priority! It's typically an after thought. I do workout hard at the gym... when I go. There was a time that I was going 4, even 5 days a week, but, that was a long time ago! (calm down.... I'm working on it!)
I do tend to feel guilty if I don't go to the gym on a regular basis. Not because I'm depriving my body of a grueling workout in fluorescent lighting, but because I'm paying for it! I have a monthly membership; with a reasonable rate, considering I'm good friends with the girl who used to sleep with the owner (his ex-wife). I just need more discipline and less procrastination! It's a process..... and I am a work in progress! So, I use my hand weights, my body ball and my pilates machine; which are all conveniently located right here at home, for when I do feel consumed with guilt for not working out at the gym.
Some people ask why I have a gym membership when I can use these items at home? Well, I pay next to nothing for the membership, I workout on several more machines at the gym, and it's a chance to meet new people.
Recently, a 'new friend to be' approached me while I was on the elliptical (which I LOVE the elliptical). She said "Wow, you're really in the zone!" She also had this really impressed look on her face. I didn't think I had understood her, so I said, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She said, "Well, I said 'You're working hard!' But then you didn't hear me, so I thought, 'Wow you're really in the zone!'" Yes, I love the elliptical! Yes, I was sweaty and slightly out of breath! Yes, I was 'in the zone.' I was FOCUSED! How wonderful of her to notice! But.... I was not focused on my 'workout'..... while on the elliptical, I was watching The Food Network and the most amazing recipe for Savory Southern Fried Chicken was on. No, I did not confess that I was focusing on The Food Network! I politely shook my head in agreement that I was "in the zone." And NO, the Food Network channel should NOT be permitted in the gym! The channel that may entice people to work out hard and really, really stay focused at the gym? The Plus Size Porn channel! Is there such a channel... I have no idea! But, I am sure that if such a channel existed, and it was available at the gym, every machine would be filled, pounds would be shed and memberships would be through the roof!!! (background checks included)
Grocery list this week, did not include ingredients to Savory Southern Fried Chicken! What I do know about myself, even with the best of intentions for this process? If it's in the house, I will eat it! Even if I plan to buy something (which I have no business buying) and portion-baggie it out (it sounded reasonable in my head), I need to NOT do it! Poor decision item this week? Bugles! My intentions were to baggie them out and they'd last a while; I wasn't depriving myself of something yummy, salty and crunchy (and cute... Bugles are cute), and they were on sale! Well damn if I didn't eat the bag in two days! Yes, it was a family size bag! Yes, it was good! No, I will not be doing that again!!!
In general, I shop the perimeter. I went down actual aisles this week, one aisle for tuna (solid white) and the other for the Bugles (UUGGHH!) Chicken breast, some fresh produce, eggs, yogurt, tilapia and shrimp. (do I sound thin or what?)
OOPS, shared too soon. Did 'impulse' buy at the checkout. Berry flavored Gummie Life Savers, two bags, $1 each, no guilt to confess to, they're yummy and a couple here and there will keep me from being mean! And... I'm going to need some type of 'concession stand' goodie when I'm on the elliptical, watching The Plus Size Porn channel; my gym doesn't sell buttered popcorn!
Like I said..... work in progress!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Have You Seen My Bundt Cake?
I'm not sure if what I witnessed recently was a confidence, an obliviousness or simply, denial at its best. Allow to me acknowledge the woman who was standing ahead of me at the concession counter at the movies, who ordered a large popcorn with extra butter. Specifically telling, not really asking, but telling the popcorn 'fetcher' that she wanted the butter on the bottom, in the middle and on the top... and a large diet coke! I was actually hoping a small, but strong, child was around to maybe pick my jaw up off the floor. I certainly couldn't do it myself. I was in shock! I was stunned! I couldn't move! And here's why..... this lovely lover of popcorn with layered butter and large fountain diet drinks, was, let me start off by saying, was old enough to dress herself. She appeared to be mid 20's, white, about 5'7" and if I would have to guess.... based on every episode of the Biggest Loser I have ever seen; which is all of them, and of course my own weight, I would say she weighed anywhere from 280lbs-286lbs. Yes, I gave myself a 6lb curve. I also just typed a very lengthy 'run on' sentence, that would not impress my former English teachers. But, that's one of the perks of blogging! Well, that and the fact I haven't brushed my teeth today! Or gotten dressed!
Anyway, I'm standing by my 280lb guess. I'm really good at guessing people's weight, especially women's weight. I have been almost every size. In my adult life, my body has ventured from an 8 all the way to a very full, but loose, 22. Well, the 20 was way too tight, so although I did 'graduate' to a 22, it should be noted they were LOOSE!!! And I only wore them twice! Then I burned them! Let's face it, the only 20's a woman should ever be in, should last only 10 years.... and that should be her age, not her size.
Okay, back to my twenty-something, robust, popcorn with layered butter lover. She was wearing, hummm... where to start.... I'll start from the ground up. She was wearing black ballerina flats, jeans and a top with cap sleeves. The flats were cute; they're trendy, enough said. Her shoes were not what made me ask a 7 year old boy if he could please hand me my jaw from the floor. The jeans? Well, the jeans were denim, they were very tight, they were something that she would have needed assistance getting into. I find myself wondering if she's wearing a catheter today, because that movie 'snack' is going to hit her bladder at some point. Who will assist her when her bladder is dancing? My concern wouldn't be getting the jeans down necessarily, but getting them back up. I can only pray she has her cell phone with her in case of an emergency! She's going to need a few extra hands to help her pack herself back in there. The jeans were low rise. I guess it's easier to let it all hang out than pack 'everything' in a pair of jeans? I don't even know why they produce low rise jeans for anyone over a size 12 or so... it's just cruel. At least apply some self tanner to the 'overage' you're exposing. Let's talk overage, shall we? I've heard of a muffin top, I comprehend the muffin top... this was more like a bundt cake exploded!!! As they say in Georgia, this was a "hot mess!" Her 'middle' was everywhere! Just hanging out! Saying "hello!" It was layered, much like her popcorn. The upper 'middle' was laying on the middle 'middle' and then the lower 'middle' was what was so desperately packed into her 'cute' jeans! Just a mess! But like any decent train wreck, you couldn't turn away! And I couldn't. I felt so bad that I couldn't turn away. Well, no I didn't. Yes I did. No I didn't. Yes I did. No I didn't. I really didn't. The cap sleeve top was kind of sheer, which really didn't matter only because her 'middle' was out and about anyway. The good news about the portly arms dangling from the cap sleeve top, is that they would seem to withstand carrying a large popcorn weighed down with excessive butter and a large diet drink. The top was on the short side, or, was it her belly was on the long side? All I know is, I was there to see a movie and I couldn't step away from this hot mess of a plus size preview I was witnessing at the concession counter! I should be ashamed. But, I wasn't. I was impressed! Was this a confidence that I was witnessing? If so, where did such confidence come from? Was this an obliviousness? Maybe she has no idea? Maybe she has no mirrors in her home? But does she not feel the draft across her layered 'middle'? Or is this denial? Maybe this heifer thinks these jeans fit great, cover her, flatter her and look absolutely hot! Maybe? If you know me at all, then you know I do have the balls to ask. However, I left my balls at home that day! I know I wanted to do one of two things in that very moment: Give her the infamous 1994 "You Go Girl!" or Remind her, "You know, when you buy a large popcorn and large drink, you get free Snowcaps!" I did neither!
I looked, because I'm human. I was both concerned and impressed, that she didn't seem to care. I do hope that she finds a mirror. Extra weight is not good for your health, your heart, your body or your spirit. Assuming she is in her mid 20's, I hope she finds a mirror soon. Weight is a demon and weight fluctuation is Hell. I would want her to figure this out soon. To improve her health, to be kind to her heart, to rescue her body and to have the happiest of spirits!
Although I did leave my balls at home that day. Her balls are, by far, bigger than my balls!!! Congrats to that!!! You would never see me walking into McDonalds in my bikini and Super-Sizing the Bic Mac Meal!
Thank God for the Drive Thru! See you there!!!
Anyway, I'm standing by my 280lb guess. I'm really good at guessing people's weight, especially women's weight. I have been almost every size. In my adult life, my body has ventured from an 8 all the way to a very full, but loose, 22. Well, the 20 was way too tight, so although I did 'graduate' to a 22, it should be noted they were LOOSE!!! And I only wore them twice! Then I burned them! Let's face it, the only 20's a woman should ever be in, should last only 10 years.... and that should be her age, not her size.
Okay, back to my twenty-something, robust, popcorn with layered butter lover. She was wearing, hummm... where to start.... I'll start from the ground up. She was wearing black ballerina flats, jeans and a top with cap sleeves. The flats were cute; they're trendy, enough said. Her shoes were not what made me ask a 7 year old boy if he could please hand me my jaw from the floor. The jeans? Well, the jeans were denim, they were very tight, they were something that she would have needed assistance getting into. I find myself wondering if she's wearing a catheter today, because that movie 'snack' is going to hit her bladder at some point. Who will assist her when her bladder is dancing? My concern wouldn't be getting the jeans down necessarily, but getting them back up. I can only pray she has her cell phone with her in case of an emergency! She's going to need a few extra hands to help her pack herself back in there. The jeans were low rise. I guess it's easier to let it all hang out than pack 'everything' in a pair of jeans? I don't even know why they produce low rise jeans for anyone over a size 12 or so... it's just cruel. At least apply some self tanner to the 'overage' you're exposing. Let's talk overage, shall we? I've heard of a muffin top, I comprehend the muffin top... this was more like a bundt cake exploded!!! As they say in Georgia, this was a "hot mess!" Her 'middle' was everywhere! Just hanging out! Saying "hello!" It was layered, much like her popcorn. The upper 'middle' was laying on the middle 'middle' and then the lower 'middle' was what was so desperately packed into her 'cute' jeans! Just a mess! But like any decent train wreck, you couldn't turn away! And I couldn't. I felt so bad that I couldn't turn away. Well, no I didn't. Yes I did. No I didn't. Yes I did. No I didn't. I really didn't. The cap sleeve top was kind of sheer, which really didn't matter only because her 'middle' was out and about anyway. The good news about the portly arms dangling from the cap sleeve top, is that they would seem to withstand carrying a large popcorn weighed down with excessive butter and a large diet drink. The top was on the short side, or, was it her belly was on the long side? All I know is, I was there to see a movie and I couldn't step away from this hot mess of a plus size preview I was witnessing at the concession counter! I should be ashamed. But, I wasn't. I was impressed! Was this a confidence that I was witnessing? If so, where did such confidence come from? Was this an obliviousness? Maybe she has no idea? Maybe she has no mirrors in her home? But does she not feel the draft across her layered 'middle'? Or is this denial? Maybe this heifer thinks these jeans fit great, cover her, flatter her and look absolutely hot! Maybe? If you know me at all, then you know I do have the balls to ask. However, I left my balls at home that day! I know I wanted to do one of two things in that very moment: Give her the infamous 1994 "You Go Girl!" or Remind her, "You know, when you buy a large popcorn and large drink, you get free Snowcaps!" I did neither!
I looked, because I'm human. I was both concerned and impressed, that she didn't seem to care. I do hope that she finds a mirror. Extra weight is not good for your health, your heart, your body or your spirit. Assuming she is in her mid 20's, I hope she finds a mirror soon. Weight is a demon and weight fluctuation is Hell. I would want her to figure this out soon. To improve her health, to be kind to her heart, to rescue her body and to have the happiest of spirits!
Although I did leave my balls at home that day. Her balls are, by far, bigger than my balls!!! Congrats to that!!! You would never see me walking into McDonalds in my bikini and Super-Sizing the Bic Mac Meal!
Thank God for the Drive Thru! See you there!!!
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