Inches VS Pounds?!?
The true objective is overall improved health. Though I've decreased in inches, the pounds are hanging on with all their might. They are relentless. However, being almost 42, I know age does play a factor. My age is not an excuse, it is my reality. The psoriatic arthritis can also hinder, which is also my reality. The results are showing, but they are taking their sweet time with their arrival.
Age...... Don't even get me started!
I'm not bothered by my age at all. I'm not spending dollars right and left trying to defy the aging process. Botox doesn't interest me in the least. I am a fan of hair color. I often ask myself, am I more grateful for hair color or make up? Always a tie, as I love them both! I think a decent moisturizer does wonders for the face and complexion; that's about all I invest in, besides true make up. I'm not a fan of my surplus neck, but what woman is? I've not met her yet.
Plastic surgery... To each their own! If you have the money, the insurance, the time, the faith and a good doctor.... then order up! Personally, I'm happy with what God has given me to work with. That's exactly what I'm doing too, working with it. I'm a firm believer that if you're not happy, it's your fault. So, with that, I myself have been striving to improve.... not because I'm not happy, but because I would like to be the best version of myself. Life is too short for that to be optional.
No matter what the age, some advice I could offer:
Don't get fat.... It's not good for your joints, your organs and your overall health. It's not good for your self esteem, your self worth or your confidence.
Don't stay from the gym too long...... Make new friends, challenge yourself with new machines or classes, enjoy the YOU time while you're there.... No children, No spouse (typically), No demands... Just YOU taking care of YOU! (no need to complain about membership prices. add up what you spend in a month for dining out (breakfast, lunch & dinner) and your gym membership will likely be less than your dining out total)
Shop the perimeter at the grocery store..... Read the labels before you buy...... Know what you're putting on your plate and putting in your body!
Spend more time in the Produce department.....Try something new! and Don't fry it!
Drink more water.... Add lemon or other fresh fruit!
Eat a donut..... Do not eat a dozen donuts!
Drive past the Drive Thru's!
A friend asked yesterday, what I was doing. She could tell I had lost some weight. When I told her I was eating better than ever and in the gym at least 4 times a week, I think she was disappointed it wasn't a magic pill or shake doing the 'work'. I've been doing the' work'. And yes, there are some days I do take time off 'work', but overall, I'm happy with the progress.
We're all a work in progress, in one way or another.
Showing posts with label gym. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gym. Show all posts
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
PMS Pepsi Motivates Shannon
August.... Done! September...... Outta Here! October..... Almost 5 days in........ Welcome! Welcome October!
I love Fall! Love it! The slight drop in temperature is more than welcome. The air is crisp! The leaves are changing! Football, Chili-Cook-Offs, Craft Fairs and Fall Festivals. Then there's the really FUN stuff.... Hayrides, Corn Mazes and Everything Pumpkin!!! Pumpkin, a true Fall staple; whether carving it, bedazzling it, drawing faces on it or cooking with it; we'll see it and more than likely be tasting it, for the next three months. Yummmmmmm!
Time to spend more time outside. A favorite mantra of mine, "Step outside and take in the view." Of course, this time of year, you should grab a sweater first. Stepping outside is easier said than done. Hectic schedules, demands of children, spouses, career.... etc........ Before you know it, October is November. Much like my August and September.... GONE!!!
Here's hoping that October doesn't pass us too quickly. May your October be a memorable one.
I spent some quality time in the gym in August and throughout September, not only for weight loss benefits, but for true conditioning. Humira is a Godsend for my Psoriatic Arthritis, but, keeping the body moving is just as essential. October will be no different. It can be discouraging to see loss in inches, but not pounds. The inches are definitely decreasing, but the pounds have found themselves a home and are reluctant to pack up and move out. I've even presented an eviction notice, but my certified delivery has been returned to sender! Damn freeloaders!!!
Menu, also a work in progress, is also improving. I stumble upon new favorites from time to time; Sabra Hummus, Stacey's Chips, fresh red grapefruit and a delicious mexican soup recipe with chicken breast, brown rice, red onion, avocado, cilantro and lime. Then I find myself returning to old favorites and sometimes old habits; Chobani Greek Yogurt, Tilapia, Laughing Cow Cheese and PEPSI! I still love Pepsi! I love my water too... with lemon. But, I LOVE Pepsi. I love the way it talks to me when it hits the ice and when it tickles my face from the carbonation. It just makes me happy! Although, I'm happy to report that my Pepsi intake has decreased substantially. Except that dreaded PMS week...... because Pepsi Motivates Shannon. There's a PMS for you!!! And ironically, that week is this week. I find myself feeling bloated and blah! (and no, i haven't guzzled the Pepsi like i've wanted to, i had ONE today) Weight: a very robust and assy 224. Assy, as that's where the weight is parked. Note: not in neutral, but parked!!! I can gain anywhere from 3lbs to 12lbs the week of my period. So far, I'm up 8! EIGHT!!! Feels like EIGHTY!!!!!! However, inches are still absent!!! So, another favorite mantra to share, "It's all good!" (and getting better)
I love Fall! Love it! The slight drop in temperature is more than welcome. The air is crisp! The leaves are changing! Football, Chili-Cook-Offs, Craft Fairs and Fall Festivals. Then there's the really FUN stuff.... Hayrides, Corn Mazes and Everything Pumpkin!!! Pumpkin, a true Fall staple; whether carving it, bedazzling it, drawing faces on it or cooking with it; we'll see it and more than likely be tasting it, for the next three months. Yummmmmmm!
Time to spend more time outside. A favorite mantra of mine, "Step outside and take in the view." Of course, this time of year, you should grab a sweater first. Stepping outside is easier said than done. Hectic schedules, demands of children, spouses, career.... etc........ Before you know it, October is November. Much like my August and September.... GONE!!!
Here's hoping that October doesn't pass us too quickly. May your October be a memorable one.
I spent some quality time in the gym in August and throughout September, not only for weight loss benefits, but for true conditioning. Humira is a Godsend for my Psoriatic Arthritis, but, keeping the body moving is just as essential. October will be no different. It can be discouraging to see loss in inches, but not pounds. The inches are definitely decreasing, but the pounds have found themselves a home and are reluctant to pack up and move out. I've even presented an eviction notice, but my certified delivery has been returned to sender! Damn freeloaders!!!
Menu, also a work in progress, is also improving. I stumble upon new favorites from time to time; Sabra Hummus, Stacey's Chips, fresh red grapefruit and a delicious mexican soup recipe with chicken breast, brown rice, red onion, avocado, cilantro and lime. Then I find myself returning to old favorites and sometimes old habits; Chobani Greek Yogurt, Tilapia, Laughing Cow Cheese and PEPSI! I still love Pepsi! I love my water too... with lemon. But, I LOVE Pepsi. I love the way it talks to me when it hits the ice and when it tickles my face from the carbonation. It just makes me happy! Although, I'm happy to report that my Pepsi intake has decreased substantially. Except that dreaded PMS week...... because Pepsi Motivates Shannon. There's a PMS for you!!! And ironically, that week is this week. I find myself feeling bloated and blah! (and no, i haven't guzzled the Pepsi like i've wanted to, i had ONE today) Weight: a very robust and assy 224. Assy, as that's where the weight is parked. Note: not in neutral, but parked!!! I can gain anywhere from 3lbs to 12lbs the week of my period. So far, I'm up 8! EIGHT!!! Feels like EIGHTY!!!!!! However, inches are still absent!!! So, another favorite mantra to share, "It's all good!" (and getting better)
Monday, August 1, 2011
Peripheral Vision, not Just for Perverts!
And...... I'm already a day late.
Hello August! Glad to see you, but I'm trying to get to October. No offense August, but you're hot and sticky; these are qualities I seek in a fresh baked pastry, not in my day to day living! Sorry August, but I am patiently waiting for October. It is just too damn HOT! The upside, August is the month to get kids out of the mall, out of our supermarkets, out of the movie theaters, off their handheld devices and back to school!!!
My son is twenty-three and no longer in school, but because I don't want to be the only Mother not raising her glass celebrating returning to the classroom, I plan on attending numerous Happy Hours throughout the month of August! Mothers Unite!!!
The upside of October? Cooler weather and Oktoberfest!!! I'm not an alcoholic, I just play one while blogging! Please...... I don't drink. I'm topless sober. No need to booze me up. I'd be the naked one in the corner, talking to people who really aren't there; attractive people of course.
(i hallucinate when i drink... and yes, that is the truth!)
As far as 'naked in the corner', my gym's scale is in the corner. Maybe they feel it offers a sense of privacy, for those who have the occasional 'is this flippin' scale broken' meltdown. I do gently step on three different times, then of course go with the lower of the three results shown. Sadly, very rarely does it vary. Whether I place left foot first, right foot first..... turn myself about..... The damn scale reads the same all three times.
I would love to weigh naked in the corner; I feel like I've gained at least 6 lbs. Besides, don't clothes and shoes weigh, like 15 lbs? Weighing naked would do one of two things for business... Vacate the property as though there was a bomb threat or...... Encourage members to stay longer, push harder and possibly not stare directly at me. It's all about peripheral vision, people! How else are we going to judge strangers and compare ourselves to others? It's all about the gift of peripheral!
I'll weigh in August 2nd! Yes, I'll wear clothes! Yes, I'll report back!
Happy August!!!
Hello August! Glad to see you, but I'm trying to get to October. No offense August, but you're hot and sticky; these are qualities I seek in a fresh baked pastry, not in my day to day living! Sorry August, but I am patiently waiting for October. It is just too damn HOT! The upside, August is the month to get kids out of the mall, out of our supermarkets, out of the movie theaters, off their handheld devices and back to school!!!
My son is twenty-three and no longer in school, but because I don't want to be the only Mother not raising her glass celebrating returning to the classroom, I plan on attending numerous Happy Hours throughout the month of August! Mothers Unite!!!
The upside of October? Cooler weather and Oktoberfest!!! I'm not an alcoholic, I just play one while blogging! Please...... I don't drink. I'm topless sober. No need to booze me up. I'd be the naked one in the corner, talking to people who really aren't there; attractive people of course.
(i hallucinate when i drink... and yes, that is the truth!)
As far as 'naked in the corner', my gym's scale is in the corner. Maybe they feel it offers a sense of privacy, for those who have the occasional 'is this flippin' scale broken' meltdown. I do gently step on three different times, then of course go with the lower of the three results shown. Sadly, very rarely does it vary. Whether I place left foot first, right foot first..... turn myself about..... The damn scale reads the same all three times.
I would love to weigh naked in the corner; I feel like I've gained at least 6 lbs. Besides, don't clothes and shoes weigh, like 15 lbs? Weighing naked would do one of two things for business... Vacate the property as though there was a bomb threat or...... Encourage members to stay longer, push harder and possibly not stare directly at me. It's all about peripheral vision, people! How else are we going to judge strangers and compare ourselves to others? It's all about the gift of peripheral!
I'll weigh in August 2nd! Yes, I'll wear clothes! Yes, I'll report back!
Happy August!!!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
BlogSpot I've missed you!
Wow... March! Has it really been since March?
I'm not even typing this now. I will officially be returning to That Shannon in August. Consider this your That Shannon 'teaser.'
I haven't been feeling well. Only now, have I been feeling better. If you've read my previous posts, you know I have psoriasis. My psoriasis had evolved into psoriatic arthritis. I had had minor symptoms of psoriatic arthritis in the past. However, more recently, the symptoms were not so minor. Painful! Exhausting! Debilitating!
I'm blessed to be on Humira, which seems to be improving everything. The skin, the joint pain, the swelling, the nails; well...... all of it. My doc was convinced that because I was such a hot mess, Humira would give me a quicker result than my previous prescribed drug, Enbrel. "Why did you go off Enbrel?", you ask. Lack of a full time job (thanks to budget cuts in 2009 with a company I had been with for almost 10 years), resulted in lack of health insurance. Lack of health insurance, resulted in no Enbrel.
I was actually testing my body too, to see how long before the drug would be NEEDED. The answer... One year. Thanks to Cobra I could continue for a while, but, ran dry of coverage May 2010. Been on Humira since May 2011. I am so very grateful. The joint pain and swelling have decreased tremendously, the skin looks almost flawless and the nails are coming along too!
I went to the gym today. Not my first day back, but still felt foreign to me. Not as comfortable as I once was. I am going more often though, so, in time...
I'm thankful for the Advil I have on hand, every time I go. It assists with the inevitable swelling.
I missed the gym these last several months. I missed looking and feeling normal. I do NOT miss feeling like I was beat up every day in a boxing ring. I know there are worse things to be diagnosed with. I would never try to make light of someone diagnosed with a serious illness or disease. I can only make light of and make fun of myself and my experiences.
Laughter really is the best medicine! And Advil!!! And Humira!!!!!!
Wow... March! Has it really been since March?
I'm not even typing this now. I will officially be returning to That Shannon in August. Consider this your That Shannon 'teaser.'
I haven't been feeling well. Only now, have I been feeling better. If you've read my previous posts, you know I have psoriasis. My psoriasis had evolved into psoriatic arthritis. I had had minor symptoms of psoriatic arthritis in the past. However, more recently, the symptoms were not so minor. Painful! Exhausting! Debilitating!
I'm blessed to be on Humira, which seems to be improving everything. The skin, the joint pain, the swelling, the nails; well...... all of it. My doc was convinced that because I was such a hot mess, Humira would give me a quicker result than my previous prescribed drug, Enbrel. "Why did you go off Enbrel?", you ask. Lack of a full time job (thanks to budget cuts in 2009 with a company I had been with for almost 10 years), resulted in lack of health insurance. Lack of health insurance, resulted in no Enbrel.
I was actually testing my body too, to see how long before the drug would be NEEDED. The answer... One year. Thanks to Cobra I could continue for a while, but, ran dry of coverage May 2010. Been on Humira since May 2011. I am so very grateful. The joint pain and swelling have decreased tremendously, the skin looks almost flawless and the nails are coming along too!
I went to the gym today. Not my first day back, but still felt foreign to me. Not as comfortable as I once was. I am going more often though, so, in time...
I'm thankful for the Advil I have on hand, every time I go. It assists with the inevitable swelling.
I missed the gym these last several months. I missed looking and feeling normal. I do NOT miss feeling like I was beat up every day in a boxing ring. I know there are worse things to be diagnosed with. I would never try to make light of someone diagnosed with a serious illness or disease. I can only make light of and make fun of myself and my experiences.
Laughter really is the best medicine! And Advil!!! And Humira!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Hello Month Three of 2011
Work.... Grateful!
Schedule.... Demanding!
Family..... Missed!
Relationship...... Challenged!
Balances.......... Unpaid!
Friends............... Appreciated!
Stress........ Up!
Psoriasis......... Annoying!
Weight................ Down!
Gym......... Random!
Optimistic............... Always!
Sense of Self......... Improving!
Blogging........................Priceless!!!
March has only been here 9hrs (est) and I still have to look at both my phone and my computer to believe it's here at all! I'm not sure where January and February dissolved to, but no doubt, they are gone. I am welcoming March with open arms.
Inches are still gone and weight is still down. 216 is nothing to brag about. However, it's not 246 and... it is a process. Pepsi is still a must have, because me headaches/migraines dictate that it is. The good news: the Pepsi intake is decreasing!
The top was (and is) decreasing in size; I'm happy to report that the bottom half is finally starting to catch up! FINALLY!!! "Triangular" was not a good look for me!
This was just a little something to play catch-up by.
Looking forward to having more time next time.
What I've also been noticing.... which I knew all along...... Fat friends don't like fat friends losing weight. So, to that, I also should have posted:
Fat Friends....................... Cranky!
(yes, I chose 'cranky'. other words that came to mind were not lady-like)
Have a great third month of 2011......................... and don't be Cranky!
Schedule.... Demanding!
Family..... Missed!
Relationship...... Challenged!
Balances.......... Unpaid!
Friends............... Appreciated!
Stress........ Up!
Psoriasis......... Annoying!
Weight................ Down!
Gym......... Random!
Optimistic............... Always!
Sense of Self......... Improving!
Blogging........................Priceless!!!
March has only been here 9hrs (est) and I still have to look at both my phone and my computer to believe it's here at all! I'm not sure where January and February dissolved to, but no doubt, they are gone. I am welcoming March with open arms.
Inches are still gone and weight is still down. 216 is nothing to brag about. However, it's not 246 and... it is a process. Pepsi is still a must have, because me headaches/migraines dictate that it is. The good news: the Pepsi intake is decreasing!
The top was (and is) decreasing in size; I'm happy to report that the bottom half is finally starting to catch up! FINALLY!!! "Triangular" was not a good look for me!
This was just a little something to play catch-up by.
Looking forward to having more time next time.
What I've also been noticing.... which I knew all along...... Fat friends don't like fat friends losing weight. So, to that, I also should have posted:
Fat Friends....................... Cranky!
(yes, I chose 'cranky'. other words that came to mind were not lady-like)
Have a great third month of 2011......................... and don't be Cranky!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Good Nap! Good Workout!
Yes!!! I went to the gym!!! I did 20 min on the elliptical and worked out on several different machines; left sweaty... which is always a good thing!
My power nap was quite powerful, almost 2 full hours worth of ZZZzzzzs. I woke refreshed and rejuvenated, just as I thought I would. Four other people must have been feeling 'refreshed' too, as I wasn't the only one there.
Going back for round two tonight. No doubt there will be more than four people there. Weekend guilt fills the gym a little more on Sunday and Monday nights, Monday night being the busier. My guilty pleasure today was a fried chicken breast. Breakfast was a clementine and 1/2 a Zone Bar, lunch was a fried chicken breast and 1/2 cola and dinner was chicken and veggies with pasta. Water throughout the day. I'll have some cottage cheese and blueberries when I get home from the gym. I actually really like cottage cheese! Breakstone's, Large Curd!!! YUM!
Baby steps, kids!!!
Scale at gym read 226.6....... All three times I got on it! It took three times to finally come to terms that the scale was NOT broken! No.... I did not pout, panic or cry. Now... if on January 31st, the scale reads 226.6... I can't promise anything!
My power nap was quite powerful, almost 2 full hours worth of ZZZzzzzs. I woke refreshed and rejuvenated, just as I thought I would. Four other people must have been feeling 'refreshed' too, as I wasn't the only one there.
Going back for round two tonight. No doubt there will be more than four people there. Weekend guilt fills the gym a little more on Sunday and Monday nights, Monday night being the busier. My guilty pleasure today was a fried chicken breast. Breakfast was a clementine and 1/2 a Zone Bar, lunch was a fried chicken breast and 1/2 cola and dinner was chicken and veggies with pasta. Water throughout the day. I'll have some cottage cheese and blueberries when I get home from the gym. I actually really like cottage cheese! Breakstone's, Large Curd!!! YUM!
Baby steps, kids!!!
Scale at gym read 226.6....... All three times I got on it! It took three times to finally come to terms that the scale was NOT broken! No.... I did not pout, panic or cry. Now... if on January 31st, the scale reads 226.6... I can't promise anything!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
1 Down, 364 More To Go!
Hello 2011!
I am so happy to see you!
Grocery trip today was a good one. The only flaw was that I did spend over my $25 week budget. ($25 for food; not dog food, paper towels, deodorant, etc) And, I had no coupons to use. I primarily shopped the perimeter (which coupons are seldom valid) and did buy several sale items.
MEAT: (on sale) Sirloin Tip Roast, (on sale) 4ct Tilapia Fillets, (bogo) Gourmet Chicken Sausage-Sweet Italian Flavor. PRODUCE: fresh strawberries & portabella mushrooms. GROCERY:(bogo) Starkist Albacore Tuna, 1 can (store brand)Cream of Mushroom Soup, Success Brown Rice & (store brand) Instant Onion Soup Mix. I did buy 2 other items, but have since reconsidered. In my moment of weakness, I bought the last bag of peanut M&Ms (reduced from Christmas) and a very small box of sugar, shortbread cookies (also reduced from Christmas). I will be returning both tomorrow. It's way too early in the game to be so weak. Though I thought I could pace myself with them, i think we know differently since the Bugles confession. (please see previous blog for details)
Less the returns, $31.50 spent. Oops... I forgot to buy milk, bananas and egg whites! Darn it, back up to $35.
I have great, (somewhat) healthy staples already.... my SMALL pantry contains: 5 boxes of Raisin Bran Crunch, 4 boxes of Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits, a few cans of Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup (tis cold & flu season), Jif Creamy Peanut Butter, a few Dole Fruit Gels, Toufayan Bagel Thins, Pompeian Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Emerald Dry Roasted Almonds, Sunsweet Ones (prunes), Aunt Nellie's Pickled Beets and Toufayan Wheat Pitettes. Some clementines, fresh carrots, fresh blueberries, fresh sweet potatoes and frozen veggies. And yes, 'in case of emergency' Pepsi and flavored organic teas (for good measure).
It will be a great week! A productive week!
You're probably asking, "Are you going to list EVERYTHING you buy?" I'm not sure yet. But, my goals are set and LATER when the pounds are no longer attached, and you ask, "How did you do it?" This portion of the answer will have already been shared.
The gym? Lesson learned. I should have gone this morning, when I was trying to catch up on my sleep. However, I will power nap over the next hour and decide then. It's 7:45pm... I think the power nap will rejuvenate. Goodnight for now.... I'll catch up AfTeR and confess it all!
I am so happy to see you!
Grocery trip today was a good one. The only flaw was that I did spend over my $25 week budget. ($25 for food; not dog food, paper towels, deodorant, etc) And, I had no coupons to use. I primarily shopped the perimeter (which coupons are seldom valid) and did buy several sale items.
MEAT: (on sale) Sirloin Tip Roast, (on sale) 4ct Tilapia Fillets, (bogo) Gourmet Chicken Sausage-Sweet Italian Flavor. PRODUCE: fresh strawberries & portabella mushrooms. GROCERY:(bogo) Starkist Albacore Tuna, 1 can (store brand)Cream of Mushroom Soup, Success Brown Rice & (store brand) Instant Onion Soup Mix. I did buy 2 other items, but have since reconsidered. In my moment of weakness, I bought the last bag of peanut M&Ms (reduced from Christmas) and a very small box of sugar, shortbread cookies (also reduced from Christmas). I will be returning both tomorrow. It's way too early in the game to be so weak. Though I thought I could pace myself with them, i think we know differently since the Bugles confession. (please see previous blog for details)
Less the returns, $31.50 spent. Oops... I forgot to buy milk, bananas and egg whites! Darn it, back up to $35.
I have great, (somewhat) healthy staples already.... my SMALL pantry contains: 5 boxes of Raisin Bran Crunch, 4 boxes of Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits, a few cans of Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup (tis cold & flu season), Jif Creamy Peanut Butter, a few Dole Fruit Gels, Toufayan Bagel Thins, Pompeian Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Emerald Dry Roasted Almonds, Sunsweet Ones (prunes), Aunt Nellie's Pickled Beets and Toufayan Wheat Pitettes. Some clementines, fresh carrots, fresh blueberries, fresh sweet potatoes and frozen veggies. And yes, 'in case of emergency' Pepsi and flavored organic teas (for good measure).
It will be a great week! A productive week!
You're probably asking, "Are you going to list EVERYTHING you buy?" I'm not sure yet. But, my goals are set and LATER when the pounds are no longer attached, and you ask, "How did you do it?" This portion of the answer will have already been shared.
The gym? Lesson learned. I should have gone this morning, when I was trying to catch up on my sleep. However, I will power nap over the next hour and decide then. It's 7:45pm... I think the power nap will rejuvenate. Goodnight for now.... I'll catch up AfTeR and confess it all!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Extra Credit Points aren't Just for School!
Four days until Christmas, two days until my period... Calgon take me away! Some of you may not understand the Calgon statement; what can I say, YOUTUBE it!
The good news today is that I made my way to the gym, the bad news is that I passed the gym on my way to Dairy Queen! The best news of the day? Double Cheeseburger Meal was on promo for $3.99. I did substitute the fries with onion rings and yes, I loved every single delicious, calorie loaded, grease soaked bite!
My Mother raised a thoughtful woman though, as I passed by the gym, I waved and said, "Hello- I won't be in today." No, really I did.... complete with the cupped-hand, pageant wave. Well, I just figured I'd say the my "Hello" on the way to Dairy Queen because if I were to wave and say my "Hello" after Dairy Queen, my mouth would be full! My MaMa raised a lady, people!
Usually my fastfood choice for period week is McDonalds, but DQ was calling my name today! And it was flippin' delicious!!! No, I will not be in the gym today. Yes, I will be working out at home tonight! The music will be up and sweats will be on (complete with bandana- please see previous post for details)! Memories of my Dairy Queen fieldtrip will get me through my hour workout! And yes, I ordered a Coke! Not a Diet Coke... a Coke! Own your Double Cheeseburger Meal, people!!!
Dear Santa (per previous post), please allow me to revise; I would like Discipline..... and Calgon.... and 12 vouchers for a FREE Double Cheeseburger Meal at Dairy Queen to get me through each 'period week' in 2011!
You know, a few days ago I was behind a man, maybe mid twenties, in line at the grocery store. He was purchasing only two items: tampons and Advil. For whatever reason, he felt the need to share his thoughts, when he looked to me and said, "I don't think you ladies understand how hard it is for us guys to buy these things." Then I shared my thoughts on his 'purchase', by looking at him and saying, "Well, are you buying EXACTLY what she told you to? The least you could do is throw in a few of her favorite candy bars and a Cosmo magazine!" He said, "Really?" I said, "Well, extra credit points aren't just for school, you know! Besides, chocolate makes us happy and if she's reading a magazine she won't be bitching at you!"
Hopefully my couple of suggestions were taken as spontaneous and thoughtful on his part. And he may not know it yet, but in a week or two, he will reap the benefits of being so spontaneous and thoughtful. The Cosmo magazine he purchased was featuring several fascinating must reads: 'Make Him Grin and Bare It Tonight', '69 New Ways to Satisfy Your Man' and 'Clothing Optional Workouts for Couples.'
No doubt he won't mind buying her 'monthly essentials', in the future!
The good news today is that I made my way to the gym, the bad news is that I passed the gym on my way to Dairy Queen! The best news of the day? Double Cheeseburger Meal was on promo for $3.99. I did substitute the fries with onion rings and yes, I loved every single delicious, calorie loaded, grease soaked bite!
My Mother raised a thoughtful woman though, as I passed by the gym, I waved and said, "Hello- I won't be in today." No, really I did.... complete with the cupped-hand, pageant wave. Well, I just figured I'd say the my "Hello" on the way to Dairy Queen because if I were to wave and say my "Hello" after Dairy Queen, my mouth would be full! My MaMa raised a lady, people!
Usually my fastfood choice for period week is McDonalds, but DQ was calling my name today! And it was flippin' delicious!!! No, I will not be in the gym today. Yes, I will be working out at home tonight! The music will be up and sweats will be on (complete with bandana- please see previous post for details)! Memories of my Dairy Queen fieldtrip will get me through my hour workout! And yes, I ordered a Coke! Not a Diet Coke... a Coke! Own your Double Cheeseburger Meal, people!!!
Dear Santa (per previous post), please allow me to revise; I would like Discipline..... and Calgon.... and 12 vouchers for a FREE Double Cheeseburger Meal at Dairy Queen to get me through each 'period week' in 2011!
You know, a few days ago I was behind a man, maybe mid twenties, in line at the grocery store. He was purchasing only two items: tampons and Advil. For whatever reason, he felt the need to share his thoughts, when he looked to me and said, "I don't think you ladies understand how hard it is for us guys to buy these things." Then I shared my thoughts on his 'purchase', by looking at him and saying, "Well, are you buying EXACTLY what she told you to? The least you could do is throw in a few of her favorite candy bars and a Cosmo magazine!" He said, "Really?" I said, "Well, extra credit points aren't just for school, you know! Besides, chocolate makes us happy and if she's reading a magazine she won't be bitching at you!"
Hopefully my couple of suggestions were taken as spontaneous and thoughtful on his part. And he may not know it yet, but in a week or two, he will reap the benefits of being so spontaneous and thoughtful. The Cosmo magazine he purchased was featuring several fascinating must reads: 'Make Him Grin and Bare It Tonight', '69 New Ways to Satisfy Your Man' and 'Clothing Optional Workouts for Couples.'
No doubt he won't mind buying her 'monthly essentials', in the future!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Full Moon Sighting At Local Gym
I go to the gym for several reasons. In no particular order, here are a few of those reasons:
It sounds good! Nothing sounds better (especially when it's true) than, "I just got home from the gym" or "I just pulled up at the gym" or "I'm getting ready to go to the gym." Adding urgency to these statements (with intentional voice fluctuation) is also impressive to those who are parked, on the couch. Asking, "Can I call you back later?" added to any of the above quotes really does have the couch potato you're speaking to, question themselves; their laziness, their health status, their level of fitness, their pending cellulite and their lack of initiative. "I'm getting ready to go to the gym, can I call you back later?" Do you detect the sense of urgency? It speaks volumes, doesn't it? (voice fluctuation is key)
Improved sex life! The older you get, the better shape you'd better be in if you plan on having marathon sex, like you did in your 20's and early 30's. Working out at the gym will provide flexibility, drive (endorphins) and stamina. These are the answers to marathon sex. Well, that and a light meal. When you enter your 40's, you can't take on a heavy meal and have 'dessert' like you used to. The rules of sex after a meal are much like the rules of swimming after a meal, there should be a minimum of a 20 minute wait before 'swimming.' Cramps and gas are not sexy. Why put you or your 'swim partner' through it? Trying to ignore or defend natural body functions when you're having sex too soon after a heavy meal is just... well, it's just not worth it. Do yourself, and your 'swim partner' a favor, and wait the 20 minutes, MINIMUM!
To look good naked! (for yourself and your significant other) There are many levels of nakedness when a woman gets older.
"Only After 9pm Naked", this naked woman wants no part of being naked in the daylight hours and will only shed her clothes after dark.
"Night Light or Candle Light Naked", this woman is only a fraction more secure than 'Only After 9pm Naked', as she will shed clothes in the dim light of a night light or candle night. No, not both. One or the other. The night light must have the lowest watt of bulb and if it's candle light you chose, then make sure it's been purchased from your local dollar store, instead of a store more reputable of true candle burning, like Yankee Candles. She wants the candle so dim, you'll question if it's even lit at all.
"Hall Light or Closet Light Naked", this naked woman is letting you know that a night light or candle light aren't enough light and that true daylight or the actual bedroom light are too much light. The 'hall light or closet light' are just right.
"Daylight or Bedroom Light Naked", this woman is far more comfortable and confident than the previous 'naked' women you've just read about. This is not to say she even has a flawless body, comfortable and confident doesn't necessarily mean flawless. Men really seem to like this 'naked' woman.
Lastly, there's the "Put Your Clothes On Naked." This naked woman would rather be naked than be clothed. You'll find yourself asking her often, "Are you going to put some clothes on?" Even insisting, "Will you please put some clothes on!" Regardless of your level of 'naked', everyone wants to look good, or at least better, naked. At least that's what I've heard.
To see what the shorts are saying nowadays! You know the shorts. You should be 95lbs-130lbs to wear them and ages 13-19 to own them. 'CHEER' across the backside is the most popular. I've seen a few others, 'JUICY' and 'CUTE' , just to name a couple. Last week, a pair of 'CHEER' shorts entered the gym, their owner was NOT in her teens. I would say she was in her late 40's, and walked with such confidence; really owning her 'CHEER' shorts. What message is she trying to convey? Should we 'CHEER' her on for her youthful, foolish style? Should we 'CHEER' for the fact that she sqwoze into these shorts that did actually fit her, but did not look good on her? (no, sqwoze is not a word, but squeeze wasn't comical enough- work with me here) I just think that if you're of such an age, or even a weight, that may not be 'CHEER' shorts friendly, that you should have fun with it! If you're going to have a message stamped, so proudly, on your ass for all to see... at least make it interesting. Do what I did, get some fabric paints and doodle on your ass. This technique works best if your gym shorts/pants are not on your body. Some suggestions that you may find as fun as I have are... FULL MOON... ASSTASTIC... GOT CHAIR... CHAIR ASS... BOUNCE HOUSE... THE END... CHEER IS FOR LAUNDRY... WIDE LOAD... I'M POOPED... ASS MAY APPEAR LARGER ON TREADMILL... SPANX ME... DEFYING GRAVITY... CAKES & PIES... CHEEKS WITH DIMPLES... HOUR GLASS (but X out the 'GL' in GLASS).
or, put two hand prints back there, one on each cheek. just make sure the hands are proportional to the size of your ass, or you're going to look stupid.
The list goes on and on! The one 'ass message' that will be sure to get attention is a lengthy message that will take a steady hand and decent, small/tiny/microscopic print, reading: IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO ME AND WAY TOO CLOSE TO MY ASS. MY INNER THIRD GRADER THINKS YOU SHOULD TAKE A PICTURE 'CAUSE IT'LL LAST LONGER. MY INNER ROSEANNE BARR WANTS TO REMIND YOU TO USE THE WIDE ANGLE LENS. BUT WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO DO, IS BACK THE HELL UP BEFORE I KICK YOU IN THE THROAT. HAVE A BLESSED DAY.
It sounds good! Nothing sounds better (especially when it's true) than, "I just got home from the gym" or "I just pulled up at the gym" or "I'm getting ready to go to the gym." Adding urgency to these statements (with intentional voice fluctuation) is also impressive to those who are parked, on the couch. Asking, "Can I call you back later?" added to any of the above quotes really does have the couch potato you're speaking to, question themselves; their laziness, their health status, their level of fitness, their pending cellulite and their lack of initiative. "I'm getting ready to go to the gym, can I call you back later?" Do you detect the sense of urgency? It speaks volumes, doesn't it? (voice fluctuation is key)
Improved sex life! The older you get, the better shape you'd better be in if you plan on having marathon sex, like you did in your 20's and early 30's. Working out at the gym will provide flexibility, drive (endorphins) and stamina. These are the answers to marathon sex. Well, that and a light meal. When you enter your 40's, you can't take on a heavy meal and have 'dessert' like you used to. The rules of sex after a meal are much like the rules of swimming after a meal, there should be a minimum of a 20 minute wait before 'swimming.' Cramps and gas are not sexy. Why put you or your 'swim partner' through it? Trying to ignore or defend natural body functions when you're having sex too soon after a heavy meal is just... well, it's just not worth it. Do yourself, and your 'swim partner' a favor, and wait the 20 minutes, MINIMUM!
To look good naked! (for yourself and your significant other) There are many levels of nakedness when a woman gets older.
"Only After 9pm Naked", this naked woman wants no part of being naked in the daylight hours and will only shed her clothes after dark.
"Night Light or Candle Light Naked", this woman is only a fraction more secure than 'Only After 9pm Naked', as she will shed clothes in the dim light of a night light or candle night. No, not both. One or the other. The night light must have the lowest watt of bulb and if it's candle light you chose, then make sure it's been purchased from your local dollar store, instead of a store more reputable of true candle burning, like Yankee Candles. She wants the candle so dim, you'll question if it's even lit at all.
"Hall Light or Closet Light Naked", this naked woman is letting you know that a night light or candle light aren't enough light and that true daylight or the actual bedroom light are too much light. The 'hall light or closet light' are just right.
"Daylight or Bedroom Light Naked", this woman is far more comfortable and confident than the previous 'naked' women you've just read about. This is not to say she even has a flawless body, comfortable and confident doesn't necessarily mean flawless. Men really seem to like this 'naked' woman.
Lastly, there's the "Put Your Clothes On Naked." This naked woman would rather be naked than be clothed. You'll find yourself asking her often, "Are you going to put some clothes on?" Even insisting, "Will you please put some clothes on!" Regardless of your level of 'naked', everyone wants to look good, or at least better, naked. At least that's what I've heard.
To see what the shorts are saying nowadays! You know the shorts. You should be 95lbs-130lbs to wear them and ages 13-19 to own them. 'CHEER' across the backside is the most popular. I've seen a few others, 'JUICY' and 'CUTE' , just to name a couple. Last week, a pair of 'CHEER' shorts entered the gym, their owner was NOT in her teens. I would say she was in her late 40's, and walked with such confidence; really owning her 'CHEER' shorts. What message is she trying to convey? Should we 'CHEER' her on for her youthful, foolish style? Should we 'CHEER' for the fact that she sqwoze into these shorts that did actually fit her, but did not look good on her? (no, sqwoze is not a word, but squeeze wasn't comical enough- work with me here) I just think that if you're of such an age, or even a weight, that may not be 'CHEER' shorts friendly, that you should have fun with it! If you're going to have a message stamped, so proudly, on your ass for all to see... at least make it interesting. Do what I did, get some fabric paints and doodle on your ass. This technique works best if your gym shorts/pants are not on your body. Some suggestions that you may find as fun as I have are... FULL MOON... ASSTASTIC... GOT CHAIR... CHAIR ASS... BOUNCE HOUSE... THE END... CHEER IS FOR LAUNDRY... WIDE LOAD... I'M POOPED... ASS MAY APPEAR LARGER ON TREADMILL... SPANX ME... DEFYING GRAVITY... CAKES & PIES... CHEEKS WITH DIMPLES... HOUR GLASS (but X out the 'GL' in GLASS).
or, put two hand prints back there, one on each cheek. just make sure the hands are proportional to the size of your ass, or you're going to look stupid.
The list goes on and on! The one 'ass message' that will be sure to get attention is a lengthy message that will take a steady hand and decent, small/tiny/microscopic print, reading: IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO ME AND WAY TOO CLOSE TO MY ASS. MY INNER THIRD GRADER THINKS YOU SHOULD TAKE A PICTURE 'CAUSE IT'LL LAST LONGER. MY INNER ROSEANNE BARR WANTS TO REMIND YOU TO USE THE WIDE ANGLE LENS. BUT WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO DO, IS BACK THE HELL UP BEFORE I KICK YOU IN THE THROAT. HAVE A BLESSED DAY.
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