Off to a great start!
Though I haven't weighed myself, my clothes are fitting better. Just over one week in, there have been highs and lows, but overall, it's been a decent week. I have no complaints. Who would I complain to? Who would I blame? At some point, one should simply to take ownership. Nothing "simple" about that statement.
If you're not happy, it's your fault. That's such a bold statement, yet it's so true. Making yourself priority isn't selfish, it's necessary. This is also a bold statement and without a doubt, easier said than done. There's only so many hours in a day. My days used to be consumed by doing for others. I'm a firm believer that you should be good to others, but, you should be better to yourself.
I'll jump on the scale soon enough. Until then, I'm happy knowing that the baby steps I'm taking are landing me in looser fitting clothes.
What I do know is this... fat friends do NOT like their fat friends losing weight! Just when you thought you needed to channel every ounce of strength within yourself to proceed, for yourself, with what you feel is in your best interest; as your dropping pounds, decreasing in inches and improving your health and well being... You will instead need to divvy out some of that strength to say "no" to your friends, who want to celebrate your milestones by taking you out to dinner.
As you shop for new clothes, you may need to shop for new friends. It's harder to maintain friendships after weight loss, than actually maintaining the weight loss itself. Let's hope my friends prove me wrong on this one!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
119 DAYS
Happy Labor Day, kids!
I'm a migraine girl, and with that, the silliest things can trigger a headache. That headache, if not treated in a timely manner, can take me out... quickly!!! Unfortunately, even when treated in a timely manner, the wrath still relentlessly persists. I typically know the triggers: periods (not every month, but enough to be aggravated by them), floral scented perfumes, air fresheners and such, spending too much time in bright sunlight and the improper set-up of my pillow. Yes, my pillow. If my pillow isn't folded in half, lengthwise and on the 'right' side up (yes, there's a 'wrong' side up)... it will lead to horrible headaches. Usually, as soon as I lay down, I know! Last night, it wasn't folded correctly, so I adjusted it and fell asleep. At one point through the night it must have come unfolded, because the headache that woke me was not good. However, I wouldn't adjust it. It would've taken all but a few seconds to raise my hands, adjust the pillow and return to my ZZZZzzzzz's. Instead, I (throughout the night) kept trying to reposition my head and neck. It's like when you have to pee at 3am. Your body is telling you that you have to pee, but you don't want to be bothered to get up, so instead, you try to trick your body by changing your position. Which only works for 8-10 minutes anyway; if you're lucky! I was trying to change my position. I failed myself miserably, because when I got up this morning, I had the worst headache. Not a great start to my day, but all my doing, just the same.
A decent day, with somewhat of a decent menu and some leg work (with ankle weights) to boot! Breakfast (9am) was a golf ball size potato, chopped and cooked in a splash of canola oil and water to just cover the bottom of the skillet. (water being added from time to time, so not to scorch) Two scrambled eggs and 4 Advil Liquigels I chased down with a half glass of Pepsi. Believe me.... I WaNtEd MORE Pepsi.... my head was rockin'! I had water instead (which is no biggie, I like water). Throbbing headache was gone 30 minutes later. Lunch (3pm) was 1/2 serving of leftover baked chicken breast, 1 1/2 c steamed carrots, 1 sm granny smith apple and a Breyers All Fruit Bar. Only to eat again at 4:30pm, when I had a bowl of Special K Blueberry Cereal. Enjoyed dinner at 7:30pm. Not too hungry... had a couple of bites of baked chicken breast, some green beans and some instant mashed potatoes. (I was visiting friends, and that's what they served) They also, very successfully, guilted me into a piece of cake! Truth be told, it was kinda dry... but my reasoning to indulge in the first place... it was Labor Day! I could've indulged, I mean really indulged, but I didn't!
It was a decent day of food choices. I'd give myself a B-... Like I said, I could have really indulged!!!
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.....
No doubt, I'll sleep better tonight!!!
I'm a migraine girl, and with that, the silliest things can trigger a headache. That headache, if not treated in a timely manner, can take me out... quickly!!! Unfortunately, even when treated in a timely manner, the wrath still relentlessly persists. I typically know the triggers: periods (not every month, but enough to be aggravated by them), floral scented perfumes, air fresheners and such, spending too much time in bright sunlight and the improper set-up of my pillow. Yes, my pillow. If my pillow isn't folded in half, lengthwise and on the 'right' side up (yes, there's a 'wrong' side up)... it will lead to horrible headaches. Usually, as soon as I lay down, I know! Last night, it wasn't folded correctly, so I adjusted it and fell asleep. At one point through the night it must have come unfolded, because the headache that woke me was not good. However, I wouldn't adjust it. It would've taken all but a few seconds to raise my hands, adjust the pillow and return to my ZZZZzzzzz's. Instead, I (throughout the night) kept trying to reposition my head and neck. It's like when you have to pee at 3am. Your body is telling you that you have to pee, but you don't want to be bothered to get up, so instead, you try to trick your body by changing your position. Which only works for 8-10 minutes anyway; if you're lucky! I was trying to change my position. I failed myself miserably, because when I got up this morning, I had the worst headache. Not a great start to my day, but all my doing, just the same.
A decent day, with somewhat of a decent menu and some leg work (with ankle weights) to boot! Breakfast (9am) was a golf ball size potato, chopped and cooked in a splash of canola oil and water to just cover the bottom of the skillet. (water being added from time to time, so not to scorch) Two scrambled eggs and 4 Advil Liquigels I chased down with a half glass of Pepsi. Believe me.... I WaNtEd MORE Pepsi.... my head was rockin'! I had water instead (which is no biggie, I like water). Throbbing headache was gone 30 minutes later. Lunch (3pm) was 1/2 serving of leftover baked chicken breast, 1 1/2 c steamed carrots, 1 sm granny smith apple and a Breyers All Fruit Bar. Only to eat again at 4:30pm, when I had a bowl of Special K Blueberry Cereal. Enjoyed dinner at 7:30pm. Not too hungry... had a couple of bites of baked chicken breast, some green beans and some instant mashed potatoes. (I was visiting friends, and that's what they served) They also, very successfully, guilted me into a piece of cake! Truth be told, it was kinda dry... but my reasoning to indulge in the first place... it was Labor Day! I could've indulged, I mean really indulged, but I didn't!
It was a decent day of food choices. I'd give myself a B-... Like I said, I could have really indulged!!!
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.....
No doubt, I'll sleep better tonight!!!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
120 DAYS
Hello September!
2012!!!
September 2012
Hummm?
I remember growing up and always being told, "You just wait, time flys by when you're older!" "The older you are, the faster it goes!" "You wake up one day and wonder where did all those years go, where did the time go?" It also seemed, the older the person was, the more they would share these statements. You certainly don't hear this from a 25 year old! Not a 30 year old! Although, you will hear it from them if they have children. They measure the days gone by, by how 'big' their child is now.
I'm not as old as some and certainly not as young as others. However, I am a firm believer of "Age is just a number." It's not your age that defines who you are, it's how you're living your life that defines who you are. How I live my life and how you live your life may not be the same. Although if you feel love (by either being loved or having loved), if you feel a sense of joy, a sense of purpose, a sense of fulfillment and maybe even a sense of self... I would have to say you're on your way. Maybe even those few things aren't on your agenda. Maybe they're not objectives of yours; that's okay too. I have several objectives as I live my life.... and believe me, there's not enough blog space. My list of lifes' objectives gets longer as I get older.
As I open up Fall storage containers and admire clothes I know I was going to fit into this season (yeah, they don't flippin' fit, but they look cute on hangers)... As I stumble into September, knowing I do more for others than for myself (yeah, why did God make me so damn kind and selfless).... As I come to the realization that after three years of not having a full time job, I start one in less than a week (I've waited a long time for the best fit, this is a GREAT fit)... As I'm acknowledging that 43 is a mere four months away...FORTY-THREE..... I may look like my Mom, but I do not look 43. I'm not even sure what 43 looks like, I just know when people find out how old I am, they think I'm 28-36. Hot damn!!! I'll take it! Yes, age is just a number... but, when you have others thinking your number is LoWeR than what it really is, then HOORAY!!! No, these aren't drunk people, or people who owe me money, or people who are trying to get me into bed... these are sober, truth telling, 20/20 seeing people!!! I'm pretty sure the day I'll look 43, is the day I turn 56! I can hear it now, "You're 56??? You don't look a day over 43!!!" (i've been practicing my 'Thank You face' for this)
So, the moral of my story today... everything is finally falling into place. After several years of trial and error with jobs, poor choices of friends, overall lessons learned and stress weighing me down- one pound at a time... I say.... NOW, let's move forward!!! Financially things are improving! Now it's time to improve physically! I am sometimes hindered by psoriatic arthritis, but it's my reality, not my excuse. I do allow stress to dictate my menu; not everyday, but more than it should! I do know how to eat right, I do know how to exercise... but, don't we all? It's safe to say, I'm not consistent! Well, except for the last three years, I've been a Consistent Hot Mess!
So, for the next 4 months, I shall channel consistency!
The goal: to lose 75 lbs.
16 weeks.... Hell, I just looked it up.... Make that 17 weeks!
I turn 43 on Dec 31, which is a Monday.
Sunday Sept 2-Sun Dec 30 is 17 weeks!
120 days...................... Bye Bye Pepsi- I will miss you!!!
2012!!!
September 2012
Hummm?
I remember growing up and always being told, "You just wait, time flys by when you're older!" "The older you are, the faster it goes!" "You wake up one day and wonder where did all those years go, where did the time go?" It also seemed, the older the person was, the more they would share these statements. You certainly don't hear this from a 25 year old! Not a 30 year old! Although, you will hear it from them if they have children. They measure the days gone by, by how 'big' their child is now.
I'm not as old as some and certainly not as young as others. However, I am a firm believer of "Age is just a number." It's not your age that defines who you are, it's how you're living your life that defines who you are. How I live my life and how you live your life may not be the same. Although if you feel love (by either being loved or having loved), if you feel a sense of joy, a sense of purpose, a sense of fulfillment and maybe even a sense of self... I would have to say you're on your way. Maybe even those few things aren't on your agenda. Maybe they're not objectives of yours; that's okay too. I have several objectives as I live my life.... and believe me, there's not enough blog space. My list of lifes' objectives gets longer as I get older.
As I open up Fall storage containers and admire clothes I know I was going to fit into this season (yeah, they don't flippin' fit, but they look cute on hangers)... As I stumble into September, knowing I do more for others than for myself (yeah, why did God make me so damn kind and selfless).... As I come to the realization that after three years of not having a full time job, I start one in less than a week (I've waited a long time for the best fit, this is a GREAT fit)... As I'm acknowledging that 43 is a mere four months away...FORTY-THREE..... I may look like my Mom, but I do not look 43. I'm not even sure what 43 looks like, I just know when people find out how old I am, they think I'm 28-36. Hot damn!!! I'll take it! Yes, age is just a number... but, when you have others thinking your number is LoWeR than what it really is, then HOORAY!!! No, these aren't drunk people, or people who owe me money, or people who are trying to get me into bed... these are sober, truth telling, 20/20 seeing people!!! I'm pretty sure the day I'll look 43, is the day I turn 56! I can hear it now, "You're 56??? You don't look a day over 43!!!" (i've been practicing my 'Thank You face' for this)
So, the moral of my story today... everything is finally falling into place. After several years of trial and error with jobs, poor choices of friends, overall lessons learned and stress weighing me down- one pound at a time... I say.... NOW, let's move forward!!! Financially things are improving! Now it's time to improve physically! I am sometimes hindered by psoriatic arthritis, but it's my reality, not my excuse. I do allow stress to dictate my menu; not everyday, but more than it should! I do know how to eat right, I do know how to exercise... but, don't we all? It's safe to say, I'm not consistent! Well, except for the last three years, I've been a Consistent Hot Mess!
So, for the next 4 months, I shall channel consistency!
The goal: to lose 75 lbs.
16 weeks.... Hell, I just looked it up.... Make that 17 weeks!
I turn 43 on Dec 31, which is a Monday.
Sunday Sept 2-Sun Dec 30 is 17 weeks!
120 days...................... Bye Bye Pepsi- I will miss you!!!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Tis the Season
December...... How are you?
The leaves were absolutely beautiful this fall. More beautiful than I remember in my four years in Georgia. The leaves are on the ground now, leaving the trees naked and cold. There is something beautiful about a bare tree in the overcast winter months. Vulnerable in its appearance, yet oddly impressive with its strength and its patience to just stand there and wait. Waiting for spring to arrive and provide it with a whole new wardrobe of leaves.
Spring is beautiful. However, the colors of fall make my eyes dance with happiness!
December is a hectic month for most. A month of spending beyond our means for gifts to clutter the home, collect dust and that may only be used, appreciated and enjoyed for only a month or two. Items we're bound to donate to Goodwill or will part with at a garage sale for .50 a year or so later. Granted, we were asking $2 for that item, but we got tired of arguing and settled for .50; not even two quarters, but three dimes, one nickel and fifteen pennies.
December is filled with yummy homemade goodies, menus that impress and lots of very merry hot totties; or for the less domestic, several party platters and a keg! Eat it up kids. That's the holiday mentality..... Eat now and start the diet January 1st! Why break tradition!
I think many are scaling back with their gift giving, aren't we all broke? Hopefully no one scales back with their unconditional love and appreciation for wonderful family and friends.
A very merry to ya!
May you share in memories, love and laughter this December.... and everyday!
The leaves were absolutely beautiful this fall. More beautiful than I remember in my four years in Georgia. The leaves are on the ground now, leaving the trees naked and cold. There is something beautiful about a bare tree in the overcast winter months. Vulnerable in its appearance, yet oddly impressive with its strength and its patience to just stand there and wait. Waiting for spring to arrive and provide it with a whole new wardrobe of leaves.
Spring is beautiful. However, the colors of fall make my eyes dance with happiness!
December is a hectic month for most. A month of spending beyond our means for gifts to clutter the home, collect dust and that may only be used, appreciated and enjoyed for only a month or two. Items we're bound to donate to Goodwill or will part with at a garage sale for .50 a year or so later. Granted, we were asking $2 for that item, but we got tired of arguing and settled for .50; not even two quarters, but three dimes, one nickel and fifteen pennies.
December is filled with yummy homemade goodies, menus that impress and lots of very merry hot totties; or for the less domestic, several party platters and a keg! Eat it up kids. That's the holiday mentality..... Eat now and start the diet January 1st! Why break tradition!
I think many are scaling back with their gift giving, aren't we all broke? Hopefully no one scales back with their unconditional love and appreciation for wonderful family and friends.
A very merry to ya!
May you share in memories, love and laughter this December.... and everyday!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
41 and Counting
Inches VS Pounds?!?
The true objective is overall improved health. Though I've decreased in inches, the pounds are hanging on with all their might. They are relentless. However, being almost 42, I know age does play a factor. My age is not an excuse, it is my reality. The psoriatic arthritis can also hinder, which is also my reality. The results are showing, but they are taking their sweet time with their arrival.
Age...... Don't even get me started!
I'm not bothered by my age at all. I'm not spending dollars right and left trying to defy the aging process. Botox doesn't interest me in the least. I am a fan of hair color. I often ask myself, am I more grateful for hair color or make up? Always a tie, as I love them both! I think a decent moisturizer does wonders for the face and complexion; that's about all I invest in, besides true make up. I'm not a fan of my surplus neck, but what woman is? I've not met her yet.
Plastic surgery... To each their own! If you have the money, the insurance, the time, the faith and a good doctor.... then order up! Personally, I'm happy with what God has given me to work with. That's exactly what I'm doing too, working with it. I'm a firm believer that if you're not happy, it's your fault. So, with that, I myself have been striving to improve.... not because I'm not happy, but because I would like to be the best version of myself. Life is too short for that to be optional.
No matter what the age, some advice I could offer:
Don't get fat.... It's not good for your joints, your organs and your overall health. It's not good for your self esteem, your self worth or your confidence.
Don't stay from the gym too long...... Make new friends, challenge yourself with new machines or classes, enjoy the YOU time while you're there.... No children, No spouse (typically), No demands... Just YOU taking care of YOU! (no need to complain about membership prices. add up what you spend in a month for dining out (breakfast, lunch & dinner) and your gym membership will likely be less than your dining out total)
Shop the perimeter at the grocery store..... Read the labels before you buy...... Know what you're putting on your plate and putting in your body!
Spend more time in the Produce department.....Try something new! and Don't fry it!
Drink more water.... Add lemon or other fresh fruit!
Eat a donut..... Do not eat a dozen donuts!
Drive past the Drive Thru's!
A friend asked yesterday, what I was doing. She could tell I had lost some weight. When I told her I was eating better than ever and in the gym at least 4 times a week, I think she was disappointed it wasn't a magic pill or shake doing the 'work'. I've been doing the' work'. And yes, there are some days I do take time off 'work', but overall, I'm happy with the progress.
We're all a work in progress, in one way or another.
The true objective is overall improved health. Though I've decreased in inches, the pounds are hanging on with all their might. They are relentless. However, being almost 42, I know age does play a factor. My age is not an excuse, it is my reality. The psoriatic arthritis can also hinder, which is also my reality. The results are showing, but they are taking their sweet time with their arrival.
Age...... Don't even get me started!
I'm not bothered by my age at all. I'm not spending dollars right and left trying to defy the aging process. Botox doesn't interest me in the least. I am a fan of hair color. I often ask myself, am I more grateful for hair color or make up? Always a tie, as I love them both! I think a decent moisturizer does wonders for the face and complexion; that's about all I invest in, besides true make up. I'm not a fan of my surplus neck, but what woman is? I've not met her yet.
Plastic surgery... To each their own! If you have the money, the insurance, the time, the faith and a good doctor.... then order up! Personally, I'm happy with what God has given me to work with. That's exactly what I'm doing too, working with it. I'm a firm believer that if you're not happy, it's your fault. So, with that, I myself have been striving to improve.... not because I'm not happy, but because I would like to be the best version of myself. Life is too short for that to be optional.
No matter what the age, some advice I could offer:
Don't get fat.... It's not good for your joints, your organs and your overall health. It's not good for your self esteem, your self worth or your confidence.
Don't stay from the gym too long...... Make new friends, challenge yourself with new machines or classes, enjoy the YOU time while you're there.... No children, No spouse (typically), No demands... Just YOU taking care of YOU! (no need to complain about membership prices. add up what you spend in a month for dining out (breakfast, lunch & dinner) and your gym membership will likely be less than your dining out total)
Shop the perimeter at the grocery store..... Read the labels before you buy...... Know what you're putting on your plate and putting in your body!
Spend more time in the Produce department.....Try something new! and Don't fry it!
Drink more water.... Add lemon or other fresh fruit!
Eat a donut..... Do not eat a dozen donuts!
Drive past the Drive Thru's!
A friend asked yesterday, what I was doing. She could tell I had lost some weight. When I told her I was eating better than ever and in the gym at least 4 times a week, I think she was disappointed it wasn't a magic pill or shake doing the 'work'. I've been doing the' work'. And yes, there are some days I do take time off 'work', but overall, I'm happy with the progress.
We're all a work in progress, in one way or another.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
PMS Pepsi Motivates Shannon
August.... Done! September...... Outta Here! October..... Almost 5 days in........ Welcome! Welcome October!
I love Fall! Love it! The slight drop in temperature is more than welcome. The air is crisp! The leaves are changing! Football, Chili-Cook-Offs, Craft Fairs and Fall Festivals. Then there's the really FUN stuff.... Hayrides, Corn Mazes and Everything Pumpkin!!! Pumpkin, a true Fall staple; whether carving it, bedazzling it, drawing faces on it or cooking with it; we'll see it and more than likely be tasting it, for the next three months. Yummmmmmm!
Time to spend more time outside. A favorite mantra of mine, "Step outside and take in the view." Of course, this time of year, you should grab a sweater first. Stepping outside is easier said than done. Hectic schedules, demands of children, spouses, career.... etc........ Before you know it, October is November. Much like my August and September.... GONE!!!
Here's hoping that October doesn't pass us too quickly. May your October be a memorable one.
I spent some quality time in the gym in August and throughout September, not only for weight loss benefits, but for true conditioning. Humira is a Godsend for my Psoriatic Arthritis, but, keeping the body moving is just as essential. October will be no different. It can be discouraging to see loss in inches, but not pounds. The inches are definitely decreasing, but the pounds have found themselves a home and are reluctant to pack up and move out. I've even presented an eviction notice, but my certified delivery has been returned to sender! Damn freeloaders!!!
Menu, also a work in progress, is also improving. I stumble upon new favorites from time to time; Sabra Hummus, Stacey's Chips, fresh red grapefruit and a delicious mexican soup recipe with chicken breast, brown rice, red onion, avocado, cilantro and lime. Then I find myself returning to old favorites and sometimes old habits; Chobani Greek Yogurt, Tilapia, Laughing Cow Cheese and PEPSI! I still love Pepsi! I love my water too... with lemon. But, I LOVE Pepsi. I love the way it talks to me when it hits the ice and when it tickles my face from the carbonation. It just makes me happy! Although, I'm happy to report that my Pepsi intake has decreased substantially. Except that dreaded PMS week...... because Pepsi Motivates Shannon. There's a PMS for you!!! And ironically, that week is this week. I find myself feeling bloated and blah! (and no, i haven't guzzled the Pepsi like i've wanted to, i had ONE today) Weight: a very robust and assy 224. Assy, as that's where the weight is parked. Note: not in neutral, but parked!!! I can gain anywhere from 3lbs to 12lbs the week of my period. So far, I'm up 8! EIGHT!!! Feels like EIGHTY!!!!!! However, inches are still absent!!! So, another favorite mantra to share, "It's all good!" (and getting better)
I love Fall! Love it! The slight drop in temperature is more than welcome. The air is crisp! The leaves are changing! Football, Chili-Cook-Offs, Craft Fairs and Fall Festivals. Then there's the really FUN stuff.... Hayrides, Corn Mazes and Everything Pumpkin!!! Pumpkin, a true Fall staple; whether carving it, bedazzling it, drawing faces on it or cooking with it; we'll see it and more than likely be tasting it, for the next three months. Yummmmmmm!
Time to spend more time outside. A favorite mantra of mine, "Step outside and take in the view." Of course, this time of year, you should grab a sweater first. Stepping outside is easier said than done. Hectic schedules, demands of children, spouses, career.... etc........ Before you know it, October is November. Much like my August and September.... GONE!!!
Here's hoping that October doesn't pass us too quickly. May your October be a memorable one.
I spent some quality time in the gym in August and throughout September, not only for weight loss benefits, but for true conditioning. Humira is a Godsend for my Psoriatic Arthritis, but, keeping the body moving is just as essential. October will be no different. It can be discouraging to see loss in inches, but not pounds. The inches are definitely decreasing, but the pounds have found themselves a home and are reluctant to pack up and move out. I've even presented an eviction notice, but my certified delivery has been returned to sender! Damn freeloaders!!!
Menu, also a work in progress, is also improving. I stumble upon new favorites from time to time; Sabra Hummus, Stacey's Chips, fresh red grapefruit and a delicious mexican soup recipe with chicken breast, brown rice, red onion, avocado, cilantro and lime. Then I find myself returning to old favorites and sometimes old habits; Chobani Greek Yogurt, Tilapia, Laughing Cow Cheese and PEPSI! I still love Pepsi! I love my water too... with lemon. But, I LOVE Pepsi. I love the way it talks to me when it hits the ice and when it tickles my face from the carbonation. It just makes me happy! Although, I'm happy to report that my Pepsi intake has decreased substantially. Except that dreaded PMS week...... because Pepsi Motivates Shannon. There's a PMS for you!!! And ironically, that week is this week. I find myself feeling bloated and blah! (and no, i haven't guzzled the Pepsi like i've wanted to, i had ONE today) Weight: a very robust and assy 224. Assy, as that's where the weight is parked. Note: not in neutral, but parked!!! I can gain anywhere from 3lbs to 12lbs the week of my period. So far, I'm up 8! EIGHT!!! Feels like EIGHTY!!!!!! However, inches are still absent!!! So, another favorite mantra to share, "It's all good!" (and getting better)
Monday, August 1, 2011
Peripheral Vision, not Just for Perverts!
And...... I'm already a day late.
Hello August! Glad to see you, but I'm trying to get to October. No offense August, but you're hot and sticky; these are qualities I seek in a fresh baked pastry, not in my day to day living! Sorry August, but I am patiently waiting for October. It is just too damn HOT! The upside, August is the month to get kids out of the mall, out of our supermarkets, out of the movie theaters, off their handheld devices and back to school!!!
My son is twenty-three and no longer in school, but because I don't want to be the only Mother not raising her glass celebrating returning to the classroom, I plan on attending numerous Happy Hours throughout the month of August! Mothers Unite!!!
The upside of October? Cooler weather and Oktoberfest!!! I'm not an alcoholic, I just play one while blogging! Please...... I don't drink. I'm topless sober. No need to booze me up. I'd be the naked one in the corner, talking to people who really aren't there; attractive people of course.
(i hallucinate when i drink... and yes, that is the truth!)
As far as 'naked in the corner', my gym's scale is in the corner. Maybe they feel it offers a sense of privacy, for those who have the occasional 'is this flippin' scale broken' meltdown. I do gently step on three different times, then of course go with the lower of the three results shown. Sadly, very rarely does it vary. Whether I place left foot first, right foot first..... turn myself about..... The damn scale reads the same all three times.
I would love to weigh naked in the corner; I feel like I've gained at least 6 lbs. Besides, don't clothes and shoes weigh, like 15 lbs? Weighing naked would do one of two things for business... Vacate the property as though there was a bomb threat or...... Encourage members to stay longer, push harder and possibly not stare directly at me. It's all about peripheral vision, people! How else are we going to judge strangers and compare ourselves to others? It's all about the gift of peripheral!
I'll weigh in August 2nd! Yes, I'll wear clothes! Yes, I'll report back!
Happy August!!!
Hello August! Glad to see you, but I'm trying to get to October. No offense August, but you're hot and sticky; these are qualities I seek in a fresh baked pastry, not in my day to day living! Sorry August, but I am patiently waiting for October. It is just too damn HOT! The upside, August is the month to get kids out of the mall, out of our supermarkets, out of the movie theaters, off their handheld devices and back to school!!!
My son is twenty-three and no longer in school, but because I don't want to be the only Mother not raising her glass celebrating returning to the classroom, I plan on attending numerous Happy Hours throughout the month of August! Mothers Unite!!!
The upside of October? Cooler weather and Oktoberfest!!! I'm not an alcoholic, I just play one while blogging! Please...... I don't drink. I'm topless sober. No need to booze me up. I'd be the naked one in the corner, talking to people who really aren't there; attractive people of course.
(i hallucinate when i drink... and yes, that is the truth!)
As far as 'naked in the corner', my gym's scale is in the corner. Maybe they feel it offers a sense of privacy, for those who have the occasional 'is this flippin' scale broken' meltdown. I do gently step on three different times, then of course go with the lower of the three results shown. Sadly, very rarely does it vary. Whether I place left foot first, right foot first..... turn myself about..... The damn scale reads the same all three times.
I would love to weigh naked in the corner; I feel like I've gained at least 6 lbs. Besides, don't clothes and shoes weigh, like 15 lbs? Weighing naked would do one of two things for business... Vacate the property as though there was a bomb threat or...... Encourage members to stay longer, push harder and possibly not stare directly at me. It's all about peripheral vision, people! How else are we going to judge strangers and compare ourselves to others? It's all about the gift of peripheral!
I'll weigh in August 2nd! Yes, I'll wear clothes! Yes, I'll report back!
Happy August!!!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
BlogSpot I've missed you!
Wow... March! Has it really been since March?
I'm not even typing this now. I will officially be returning to That Shannon in August. Consider this your That Shannon 'teaser.'
I haven't been feeling well. Only now, have I been feeling better. If you've read my previous posts, you know I have psoriasis. My psoriasis had evolved into psoriatic arthritis. I had had minor symptoms of psoriatic arthritis in the past. However, more recently, the symptoms were not so minor. Painful! Exhausting! Debilitating!
I'm blessed to be on Humira, which seems to be improving everything. The skin, the joint pain, the swelling, the nails; well...... all of it. My doc was convinced that because I was such a hot mess, Humira would give me a quicker result than my previous prescribed drug, Enbrel. "Why did you go off Enbrel?", you ask. Lack of a full time job (thanks to budget cuts in 2009 with a company I had been with for almost 10 years), resulted in lack of health insurance. Lack of health insurance, resulted in no Enbrel.
I was actually testing my body too, to see how long before the drug would be NEEDED. The answer... One year. Thanks to Cobra I could continue for a while, but, ran dry of coverage May 2010. Been on Humira since May 2011. I am so very grateful. The joint pain and swelling have decreased tremendously, the skin looks almost flawless and the nails are coming along too!
I went to the gym today. Not my first day back, but still felt foreign to me. Not as comfortable as I once was. I am going more often though, so, in time...
I'm thankful for the Advil I have on hand, every time I go. It assists with the inevitable swelling.
I missed the gym these last several months. I missed looking and feeling normal. I do NOT miss feeling like I was beat up every day in a boxing ring. I know there are worse things to be diagnosed with. I would never try to make light of someone diagnosed with a serious illness or disease. I can only make light of and make fun of myself and my experiences.
Laughter really is the best medicine! And Advil!!! And Humira!!!!!!
Wow... March! Has it really been since March?
I'm not even typing this now. I will officially be returning to That Shannon in August. Consider this your That Shannon 'teaser.'
I haven't been feeling well. Only now, have I been feeling better. If you've read my previous posts, you know I have psoriasis. My psoriasis had evolved into psoriatic arthritis. I had had minor symptoms of psoriatic arthritis in the past. However, more recently, the symptoms were not so minor. Painful! Exhausting! Debilitating!
I'm blessed to be on Humira, which seems to be improving everything. The skin, the joint pain, the swelling, the nails; well...... all of it. My doc was convinced that because I was such a hot mess, Humira would give me a quicker result than my previous prescribed drug, Enbrel. "Why did you go off Enbrel?", you ask. Lack of a full time job (thanks to budget cuts in 2009 with a company I had been with for almost 10 years), resulted in lack of health insurance. Lack of health insurance, resulted in no Enbrel.
I was actually testing my body too, to see how long before the drug would be NEEDED. The answer... One year. Thanks to Cobra I could continue for a while, but, ran dry of coverage May 2010. Been on Humira since May 2011. I am so very grateful. The joint pain and swelling have decreased tremendously, the skin looks almost flawless and the nails are coming along too!
I went to the gym today. Not my first day back, but still felt foreign to me. Not as comfortable as I once was. I am going more often though, so, in time...
I'm thankful for the Advil I have on hand, every time I go. It assists with the inevitable swelling.
I missed the gym these last several months. I missed looking and feeling normal. I do NOT miss feeling like I was beat up every day in a boxing ring. I know there are worse things to be diagnosed with. I would never try to make light of someone diagnosed with a serious illness or disease. I can only make light of and make fun of myself and my experiences.
Laughter really is the best medicine! And Advil!!! And Humira!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Hello Month Three of 2011
Work.... Grateful!
Schedule.... Demanding!
Family..... Missed!
Relationship...... Challenged!
Balances.......... Unpaid!
Friends............... Appreciated!
Stress........ Up!
Psoriasis......... Annoying!
Weight................ Down!
Gym......... Random!
Optimistic............... Always!
Sense of Self......... Improving!
Blogging........................Priceless!!!
March has only been here 9hrs (est) and I still have to look at both my phone and my computer to believe it's here at all! I'm not sure where January and February dissolved to, but no doubt, they are gone. I am welcoming March with open arms.
Inches are still gone and weight is still down. 216 is nothing to brag about. However, it's not 246 and... it is a process. Pepsi is still a must have, because me headaches/migraines dictate that it is. The good news: the Pepsi intake is decreasing!
The top was (and is) decreasing in size; I'm happy to report that the bottom half is finally starting to catch up! FINALLY!!! "Triangular" was not a good look for me!
This was just a little something to play catch-up by.
Looking forward to having more time next time.
What I've also been noticing.... which I knew all along...... Fat friends don't like fat friends losing weight. So, to that, I also should have posted:
Fat Friends....................... Cranky!
(yes, I chose 'cranky'. other words that came to mind were not lady-like)
Have a great third month of 2011......................... and don't be Cranky!
Schedule.... Demanding!
Family..... Missed!
Relationship...... Challenged!
Balances.......... Unpaid!
Friends............... Appreciated!
Stress........ Up!
Psoriasis......... Annoying!
Weight................ Down!
Gym......... Random!
Optimistic............... Always!
Sense of Self......... Improving!
Blogging........................Priceless!!!
March has only been here 9hrs (est) and I still have to look at both my phone and my computer to believe it's here at all! I'm not sure where January and February dissolved to, but no doubt, they are gone. I am welcoming March with open arms.
Inches are still gone and weight is still down. 216 is nothing to brag about. However, it's not 246 and... it is a process. Pepsi is still a must have, because me headaches/migraines dictate that it is. The good news: the Pepsi intake is decreasing!
The top was (and is) decreasing in size; I'm happy to report that the bottom half is finally starting to catch up! FINALLY!!! "Triangular" was not a good look for me!
This was just a little something to play catch-up by.
Looking forward to having more time next time.
What I've also been noticing.... which I knew all along...... Fat friends don't like fat friends losing weight. So, to that, I also should have posted:
Fat Friends....................... Cranky!
(yes, I chose 'cranky'. other words that came to mind were not lady-like)
Have a great third month of 2011......................... and don't be Cranky!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
The Flat-Chested Triangle, a shape not yet sung about on Sesame Street!
So yes, I weighed in on the 21st of January. The scale made its way to 219.4.
However, here I am in the middle of a heavy period and I feel as though I weigh 246 once again. What a roller coaster! It's said that women are more moody and more emotional creatures then men... Gee, I wonder why?
Is it disrespectful that I'm wondering if my God isn't an overweight woman? I say this because, what I do know is that, at least among women, fat friends don't like their fat friends to lose weight! Sure, they smile and offer well wishes on the outside... if their Mothers' raised them right. But, on the inside, they're sitting in a Krispy Kreme having a major meltdown.
My weight is gradually coming down; the inches too, are also coming off. Inches off my bra size! This is NOT where I need the inches to come off! I do think my God is a fluffy female, because if I do put a few pounds back on, like this week for example, the inches don't return to the boobage. The inches always seem to find a new place to call home, on my ass. I look like a flat-chested, wide-load triangle. Just not as pointy. Only a fluffy female would do that to another fluffy female. If my God were a man, it would surely be the other way around. Most men like a bigger top and a smaller bottom. The best thing about my God? My God allowing me to have such a peculiar, borderline controversial, sense of humor.
I will make my God proud on Monday, January 31st, when my flat-chested, triangular body gets on the scale. Through this glorious period, may the three digits read 219 or less!!!
However, here I am in the middle of a heavy period and I feel as though I weigh 246 once again. What a roller coaster! It's said that women are more moody and more emotional creatures then men... Gee, I wonder why?
Is it disrespectful that I'm wondering if my God isn't an overweight woman? I say this because, what I do know is that, at least among women, fat friends don't like their fat friends to lose weight! Sure, they smile and offer well wishes on the outside... if their Mothers' raised them right. But, on the inside, they're sitting in a Krispy Kreme having a major meltdown.
My weight is gradually coming down; the inches too, are also coming off. Inches off my bra size! This is NOT where I need the inches to come off! I do think my God is a fluffy female, because if I do put a few pounds back on, like this week for example, the inches don't return to the boobage. The inches always seem to find a new place to call home, on my ass. I look like a flat-chested, wide-load triangle. Just not as pointy. Only a fluffy female would do that to another fluffy female. If my God were a man, it would surely be the other way around. Most men like a bigger top and a smaller bottom. The best thing about my God? My God allowing me to have such a peculiar, borderline controversial, sense of humor.
I will make my God proud on Monday, January 31st, when my flat-chested, triangular body gets on the scale. Through this glorious period, may the three digits read 219 or less!!!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Shannon VS Rocky
Snowed in for several days (atlanta) and i'm not going to say I didn't work out, but I am going to say, I didn't miss a meal... or a snack!
Being snowed in, well, this involves a different kind of workout... a very relaxed, i'll get-to-it-tomorrow type of workout. Hell, I didn't shower until day four, people!
A decent workout promotes a shower, and I wasn't going to let that happen!
A nice hot shower is great, but then it's cold when you step out, you have to blow dry your hair before you freeze to death with a wet head, then you have to get dressed... and assuming you'd be wearing a different/clean outfit, now you're just promoting more laundry to do. Honestly, who wants that?
Two rules of snow days: just keep adding deodorant & don't eat the kitchen!
Guilt and some body odor set in today, so I worked out and showered!
My meals weren't necessarily 'bad', they were just excessive and 'non-portioned.' A successful meal is not only on the healthier side, but smartly portioned. One of my 'no-no' meals was egg salad. Why it was a 'no-no' meal was because I apparently wanted a 'snack' as I was watching the Biggest Loser, Tuesday night.... I ate all the egg salad I had made!!! Out of the bowl! Yes, with fork, not my fingers! No bread needed! (I didn't think I needed the extra carbs) Don't laugh, but I was thinking about Rocky Balboa, as I was watching the Biggest Loser, and eating my six-egg salad... out of the bowl... with a fork. Like when Rocky ate his eggs.... well, drank his eggs, his raw eggs, from a glass.... almost the same thing..... I too, like Rocky, was wearing my sweats! However, unlike Rocky Balboa, I wasn't going on a 4am run, and had a remote control in my hand. In that moment, i felt like a winner! I ate that six-egg salad out of a bowl, with a fork, like a champion!!! I'm pretty sure I would have made Mr. Balboa nervous!
That was the only BAD BAD BAD naughty, 'no-no' moment to confess to.
I did drink lots of water, had some oranges, bananas, Fiber One blueberry muffins, fish, chicken breast, lots of broccoli, sweet potato, some veggies and pasta too. Enjoyed some Triscuits and yummy rosemary focaccia sticks by New York Style and yes, one Pepsi every day! Hey, you snow me in... I'm going to cave! I'm just proud I only had one a day.
Today was the day that I moved and worked out the most.
The ice and snow are gradually melting, so tomorrow will be a better day.
I will challenge myself this week, and we'll see what the scale says on Friday the 21st. I'd weigh myself now, but the six-egg salad thinks it's too soon! And I agree!
Being snowed in, well, this involves a different kind of workout... a very relaxed, i'll get-to-it-tomorrow type of workout. Hell, I didn't shower until day four, people!
A decent workout promotes a shower, and I wasn't going to let that happen!
A nice hot shower is great, but then it's cold when you step out, you have to blow dry your hair before you freeze to death with a wet head, then you have to get dressed... and assuming you'd be wearing a different/clean outfit, now you're just promoting more laundry to do. Honestly, who wants that?
Two rules of snow days: just keep adding deodorant & don't eat the kitchen!
Guilt and some body odor set in today, so I worked out and showered!
My meals weren't necessarily 'bad', they were just excessive and 'non-portioned.' A successful meal is not only on the healthier side, but smartly portioned. One of my 'no-no' meals was egg salad. Why it was a 'no-no' meal was because I apparently wanted a 'snack' as I was watching the Biggest Loser, Tuesday night.... I ate all the egg salad I had made!!! Out of the bowl! Yes, with fork, not my fingers! No bread needed! (I didn't think I needed the extra carbs) Don't laugh, but I was thinking about Rocky Balboa, as I was watching the Biggest Loser, and eating my six-egg salad... out of the bowl... with a fork. Like when Rocky ate his eggs.... well, drank his eggs, his raw eggs, from a glass.... almost the same thing..... I too, like Rocky, was wearing my sweats! However, unlike Rocky Balboa, I wasn't going on a 4am run, and had a remote control in my hand. In that moment, i felt like a winner! I ate that six-egg salad out of a bowl, with a fork, like a champion!!! I'm pretty sure I would have made Mr. Balboa nervous!
That was the only BAD BAD BAD naughty, 'no-no' moment to confess to.
I did drink lots of water, had some oranges, bananas, Fiber One blueberry muffins, fish, chicken breast, lots of broccoli, sweet potato, some veggies and pasta too. Enjoyed some Triscuits and yummy rosemary focaccia sticks by New York Style and yes, one Pepsi every day! Hey, you snow me in... I'm going to cave! I'm just proud I only had one a day.
Today was the day that I moved and worked out the most.
The ice and snow are gradually melting, so tomorrow will be a better day.
I will challenge myself this week, and we'll see what the scale says on Friday the 21st. I'd weigh myself now, but the six-egg salad thinks it's too soon! And I agree!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A Loss of Pounds with a Side Order of Lost Inches Please!
Eleven days into our New Year, and as Dr Phil would ask, "How's that workin' for ya?"
The to-do list is in my head, but the execution has been a struggle. However, because I know the outcome will be a positive one, I persevere. As blogged previously, I am a work in process. And what a process it is!
Scale is lower, but still reading a very "Biggest Loser" number of 224.8.
Clothes are fitting differently. Someone said, "You're losing inches right now, not pounds." And though I appreciate the insight, and I appreciate that the clothes are fitting differently and loosely... I want to see a loss of pounds WITH my 'loss of inches.' Yes, that's what I would like to order.... "A loss of pounds with a side order of lost inches please!"
I'm still trying to figure out where to 'order' some anti-gravity! Gravity is just evil! Nature's way of reminding you that you're no longer in your twenties, or even your thirties. What I am learning though... no matter what your age.... working out is essential. Essential for the body and the mind. What I am also learning too, is that you can't remedy and restore a body you let go to Hell, overnight. My current body was not an overnight train wreck. So, I need to remind myself daily, that conditioning it, restoring it, working it to its maximum potential, will also not happen overnight.
I often think of what God would say to me when we met. Would He say, "Look at you, you're a Hot Mess. I give this body to you, and this is how you treat it!" Or would She say, "I don't think you look all that bad, besides, I gave you a beautiful face!"
I gave a friend two different size frying pans for Christmas. But, then I found myself putting a disclosure on them by saying, "Wash them by hand, they'll go bad in the dishwasher." That's like me giving my son a new bottle of cologne, but then telling him, "Only spray it once or twice, or you're just wasting it." Never happened..... but still, who am I to 'disclose' anything? If I were to give him cologne, I probably would say that. Well, he is twenty-two now, so maybe not. The frying pan recipient is thirty-six. So....... Whatever....... Okay, maybe I have 'disclosure' issues. I'd rather just call it a Barbara-ism! (you'll need to read previous blogs for that one, people)
Life's lessons are our own disclosures. The choices we make, and the lessons we both grow from and learn from, allow us to evolve into the person we are truly to be. And if you can't laugh along the way, then you're not really enjoying the ride. If you can't make light of things that are dark, or you can't see that the glass is really half full, then you've not learned any lessons...... yet. But, maybe in time... in time you will.
I joke with my God being a He or a She, but whether a He or a She, I know that when we meet, God will be able to say, "I'm so glad you figured it all out, but what took you so long?"
The to-do list is in my head, but the execution has been a struggle. However, because I know the outcome will be a positive one, I persevere. As blogged previously, I am a work in process. And what a process it is!
Scale is lower, but still reading a very "Biggest Loser" number of 224.8.
Clothes are fitting differently. Someone said, "You're losing inches right now, not pounds." And though I appreciate the insight, and I appreciate that the clothes are fitting differently and loosely... I want to see a loss of pounds WITH my 'loss of inches.' Yes, that's what I would like to order.... "A loss of pounds with a side order of lost inches please!"
I'm still trying to figure out where to 'order' some anti-gravity! Gravity is just evil! Nature's way of reminding you that you're no longer in your twenties, or even your thirties. What I am learning though... no matter what your age.... working out is essential. Essential for the body and the mind. What I am also learning too, is that you can't remedy and restore a body you let go to Hell, overnight. My current body was not an overnight train wreck. So, I need to remind myself daily, that conditioning it, restoring it, working it to its maximum potential, will also not happen overnight.
I often think of what God would say to me when we met. Would He say, "Look at you, you're a Hot Mess. I give this body to you, and this is how you treat it!" Or would She say, "I don't think you look all that bad, besides, I gave you a beautiful face!"
I gave a friend two different size frying pans for Christmas. But, then I found myself putting a disclosure on them by saying, "Wash them by hand, they'll go bad in the dishwasher." That's like me giving my son a new bottle of cologne, but then telling him, "Only spray it once or twice, or you're just wasting it." Never happened..... but still, who am I to 'disclose' anything? If I were to give him cologne, I probably would say that. Well, he is twenty-two now, so maybe not. The frying pan recipient is thirty-six. So....... Whatever....... Okay, maybe I have 'disclosure' issues. I'd rather just call it a Barbara-ism! (you'll need to read previous blogs for that one, people)
Life's lessons are our own disclosures. The choices we make, and the lessons we both grow from and learn from, allow us to evolve into the person we are truly to be. And if you can't laugh along the way, then you're not really enjoying the ride. If you can't make light of things that are dark, or you can't see that the glass is really half full, then you've not learned any lessons...... yet. But, maybe in time... in time you will.
I joke with my God being a He or a She, but whether a He or a She, I know that when we meet, God will be able to say, "I'm so glad you figured it all out, but what took you so long?"
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Good Nap! Good Workout!
Yes!!! I went to the gym!!! I did 20 min on the elliptical and worked out on several different machines; left sweaty... which is always a good thing!
My power nap was quite powerful, almost 2 full hours worth of ZZZzzzzs. I woke refreshed and rejuvenated, just as I thought I would. Four other people must have been feeling 'refreshed' too, as I wasn't the only one there.
Going back for round two tonight. No doubt there will be more than four people there. Weekend guilt fills the gym a little more on Sunday and Monday nights, Monday night being the busier. My guilty pleasure today was a fried chicken breast. Breakfast was a clementine and 1/2 a Zone Bar, lunch was a fried chicken breast and 1/2 cola and dinner was chicken and veggies with pasta. Water throughout the day. I'll have some cottage cheese and blueberries when I get home from the gym. I actually really like cottage cheese! Breakstone's, Large Curd!!! YUM!
Baby steps, kids!!!
Scale at gym read 226.6....... All three times I got on it! It took three times to finally come to terms that the scale was NOT broken! No.... I did not pout, panic or cry. Now... if on January 31st, the scale reads 226.6... I can't promise anything!
My power nap was quite powerful, almost 2 full hours worth of ZZZzzzzs. I woke refreshed and rejuvenated, just as I thought I would. Four other people must have been feeling 'refreshed' too, as I wasn't the only one there.
Going back for round two tonight. No doubt there will be more than four people there. Weekend guilt fills the gym a little more on Sunday and Monday nights, Monday night being the busier. My guilty pleasure today was a fried chicken breast. Breakfast was a clementine and 1/2 a Zone Bar, lunch was a fried chicken breast and 1/2 cola and dinner was chicken and veggies with pasta. Water throughout the day. I'll have some cottage cheese and blueberries when I get home from the gym. I actually really like cottage cheese! Breakstone's, Large Curd!!! YUM!
Baby steps, kids!!!
Scale at gym read 226.6....... All three times I got on it! It took three times to finally come to terms that the scale was NOT broken! No.... I did not pout, panic or cry. Now... if on January 31st, the scale reads 226.6... I can't promise anything!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
1 Down, 364 More To Go!
Hello 2011!
I am so happy to see you!
Grocery trip today was a good one. The only flaw was that I did spend over my $25 week budget. ($25 for food; not dog food, paper towels, deodorant, etc) And, I had no coupons to use. I primarily shopped the perimeter (which coupons are seldom valid) and did buy several sale items.
MEAT: (on sale) Sirloin Tip Roast, (on sale) 4ct Tilapia Fillets, (bogo) Gourmet Chicken Sausage-Sweet Italian Flavor. PRODUCE: fresh strawberries & portabella mushrooms. GROCERY:(bogo) Starkist Albacore Tuna, 1 can (store brand)Cream of Mushroom Soup, Success Brown Rice & (store brand) Instant Onion Soup Mix. I did buy 2 other items, but have since reconsidered. In my moment of weakness, I bought the last bag of peanut M&Ms (reduced from Christmas) and a very small box of sugar, shortbread cookies (also reduced from Christmas). I will be returning both tomorrow. It's way too early in the game to be so weak. Though I thought I could pace myself with them, i think we know differently since the Bugles confession. (please see previous blog for details)
Less the returns, $31.50 spent. Oops... I forgot to buy milk, bananas and egg whites! Darn it, back up to $35.
I have great, (somewhat) healthy staples already.... my SMALL pantry contains: 5 boxes of Raisin Bran Crunch, 4 boxes of Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits, a few cans of Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup (tis cold & flu season), Jif Creamy Peanut Butter, a few Dole Fruit Gels, Toufayan Bagel Thins, Pompeian Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Emerald Dry Roasted Almonds, Sunsweet Ones (prunes), Aunt Nellie's Pickled Beets and Toufayan Wheat Pitettes. Some clementines, fresh carrots, fresh blueberries, fresh sweet potatoes and frozen veggies. And yes, 'in case of emergency' Pepsi and flavored organic teas (for good measure).
It will be a great week! A productive week!
You're probably asking, "Are you going to list EVERYTHING you buy?" I'm not sure yet. But, my goals are set and LATER when the pounds are no longer attached, and you ask, "How did you do it?" This portion of the answer will have already been shared.
The gym? Lesson learned. I should have gone this morning, when I was trying to catch up on my sleep. However, I will power nap over the next hour and decide then. It's 7:45pm... I think the power nap will rejuvenate. Goodnight for now.... I'll catch up AfTeR and confess it all!
I am so happy to see you!
Grocery trip today was a good one. The only flaw was that I did spend over my $25 week budget. ($25 for food; not dog food, paper towels, deodorant, etc) And, I had no coupons to use. I primarily shopped the perimeter (which coupons are seldom valid) and did buy several sale items.
MEAT: (on sale) Sirloin Tip Roast, (on sale) 4ct Tilapia Fillets, (bogo) Gourmet Chicken Sausage-Sweet Italian Flavor. PRODUCE: fresh strawberries & portabella mushrooms. GROCERY:(bogo) Starkist Albacore Tuna, 1 can (store brand)Cream of Mushroom Soup, Success Brown Rice & (store brand) Instant Onion Soup Mix. I did buy 2 other items, but have since reconsidered. In my moment of weakness, I bought the last bag of peanut M&Ms (reduced from Christmas) and a very small box of sugar, shortbread cookies (also reduced from Christmas). I will be returning both tomorrow. It's way too early in the game to be so weak. Though I thought I could pace myself with them, i think we know differently since the Bugles confession. (please see previous blog for details)
Less the returns, $31.50 spent. Oops... I forgot to buy milk, bananas and egg whites! Darn it, back up to $35.
I have great, (somewhat) healthy staples already.... my SMALL pantry contains: 5 boxes of Raisin Bran Crunch, 4 boxes of Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits, a few cans of Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup (tis cold & flu season), Jif Creamy Peanut Butter, a few Dole Fruit Gels, Toufayan Bagel Thins, Pompeian Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Emerald Dry Roasted Almonds, Sunsweet Ones (prunes), Aunt Nellie's Pickled Beets and Toufayan Wheat Pitettes. Some clementines, fresh carrots, fresh blueberries, fresh sweet potatoes and frozen veggies. And yes, 'in case of emergency' Pepsi and flavored organic teas (for good measure).
It will be a great week! A productive week!
You're probably asking, "Are you going to list EVERYTHING you buy?" I'm not sure yet. But, my goals are set and LATER when the pounds are no longer attached, and you ask, "How did you do it?" This portion of the answer will have already been shared.
The gym? Lesson learned. I should have gone this morning, when I was trying to catch up on my sleep. However, I will power nap over the next hour and decide then. It's 7:45pm... I think the power nap will rejuvenate. Goodnight for now.... I'll catch up AfTeR and confess it all!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Your 365 Mondays Await You............ Happy New Year!
Period, six days late. Cramps are relentless. Too tired to even given into cravings. Wish I had stock in both Advil and Excedrine Migraine.
As many would agree; it was a wonderful Christmas, but, so glad it's over.
Now, as many are doing, it's time to focus on a New Year. Time to channel optimism, discover a renewed faith for a more rewarding day and attempt to stay focused on things you may want to improve upon. Time for reflection, and truly acknowledging if you are the person you want to be. I mean, you are who you are. But, are you the person you really want to be?
Why these notions don't take place on a Tuesday in June, is beyond me. Really though, who ever asks about your June Resolutions?
The diets, the working out, the quiting smoking, the quiting drinking; all the pros and cons of the vices that we allow to consume us. With these, just to name a few (and the more obvious), we usually 'start on Monday.' Monday is typically the day where there's an attempt to kick old habits and start new and improved lifestyles. Then fifty-two Mondays go by, and now our New Years Resolution List is created. A little longer than we thought; even longer for the true procrastinators.
I myself am an improving procrastinator.
"Hello, My name is Shannon and I am an improving procrastinator."
Here's an early toast (as i raise my invisible glass of nothing), that you have a wonderful 2011. Make the most of it... or at least do what I'm doing.... make every day a Monday! And no, not a "Manic Monday" per The Bangles and not a "Rainy Day Monday" per The Carpenter's. But, a 'start' Monday, per this blog contribution!
As many would agree; it was a wonderful Christmas, but, so glad it's over.
Now, as many are doing, it's time to focus on a New Year. Time to channel optimism, discover a renewed faith for a more rewarding day and attempt to stay focused on things you may want to improve upon. Time for reflection, and truly acknowledging if you are the person you want to be. I mean, you are who you are. But, are you the person you really want to be?
Why these notions don't take place on a Tuesday in June, is beyond me. Really though, who ever asks about your June Resolutions?
The diets, the working out, the quiting smoking, the quiting drinking; all the pros and cons of the vices that we allow to consume us. With these, just to name a few (and the more obvious), we usually 'start on Monday.' Monday is typically the day where there's an attempt to kick old habits and start new and improved lifestyles. Then fifty-two Mondays go by, and now our New Years Resolution List is created. A little longer than we thought; even longer for the true procrastinators.
I myself am an improving procrastinator.
"Hello, My name is Shannon and I am an improving procrastinator."
Here's an early toast (as i raise my invisible glass of nothing), that you have a wonderful 2011. Make the most of it... or at least do what I'm doing.... make every day a Monday! And no, not a "Manic Monday" per The Bangles and not a "Rainy Day Monday" per The Carpenter's. But, a 'start' Monday, per this blog contribution!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Extra Credit Points aren't Just for School!
Four days until Christmas, two days until my period... Calgon take me away! Some of you may not understand the Calgon statement; what can I say, YOUTUBE it!
The good news today is that I made my way to the gym, the bad news is that I passed the gym on my way to Dairy Queen! The best news of the day? Double Cheeseburger Meal was on promo for $3.99. I did substitute the fries with onion rings and yes, I loved every single delicious, calorie loaded, grease soaked bite!
My Mother raised a thoughtful woman though, as I passed by the gym, I waved and said, "Hello- I won't be in today." No, really I did.... complete with the cupped-hand, pageant wave. Well, I just figured I'd say the my "Hello" on the way to Dairy Queen because if I were to wave and say my "Hello" after Dairy Queen, my mouth would be full! My MaMa raised a lady, people!
Usually my fastfood choice for period week is McDonalds, but DQ was calling my name today! And it was flippin' delicious!!! No, I will not be in the gym today. Yes, I will be working out at home tonight! The music will be up and sweats will be on (complete with bandana- please see previous post for details)! Memories of my Dairy Queen fieldtrip will get me through my hour workout! And yes, I ordered a Coke! Not a Diet Coke... a Coke! Own your Double Cheeseburger Meal, people!!!
Dear Santa (per previous post), please allow me to revise; I would like Discipline..... and Calgon.... and 12 vouchers for a FREE Double Cheeseburger Meal at Dairy Queen to get me through each 'period week' in 2011!
You know, a few days ago I was behind a man, maybe mid twenties, in line at the grocery store. He was purchasing only two items: tampons and Advil. For whatever reason, he felt the need to share his thoughts, when he looked to me and said, "I don't think you ladies understand how hard it is for us guys to buy these things." Then I shared my thoughts on his 'purchase', by looking at him and saying, "Well, are you buying EXACTLY what she told you to? The least you could do is throw in a few of her favorite candy bars and a Cosmo magazine!" He said, "Really?" I said, "Well, extra credit points aren't just for school, you know! Besides, chocolate makes us happy and if she's reading a magazine she won't be bitching at you!"
Hopefully my couple of suggestions were taken as spontaneous and thoughtful on his part. And he may not know it yet, but in a week or two, he will reap the benefits of being so spontaneous and thoughtful. The Cosmo magazine he purchased was featuring several fascinating must reads: 'Make Him Grin and Bare It Tonight', '69 New Ways to Satisfy Your Man' and 'Clothing Optional Workouts for Couples.'
No doubt he won't mind buying her 'monthly essentials', in the future!
The good news today is that I made my way to the gym, the bad news is that I passed the gym on my way to Dairy Queen! The best news of the day? Double Cheeseburger Meal was on promo for $3.99. I did substitute the fries with onion rings and yes, I loved every single delicious, calorie loaded, grease soaked bite!
My Mother raised a thoughtful woman though, as I passed by the gym, I waved and said, "Hello- I won't be in today." No, really I did.... complete with the cupped-hand, pageant wave. Well, I just figured I'd say the my "Hello" on the way to Dairy Queen because if I were to wave and say my "Hello" after Dairy Queen, my mouth would be full! My MaMa raised a lady, people!
Usually my fastfood choice for period week is McDonalds, but DQ was calling my name today! And it was flippin' delicious!!! No, I will not be in the gym today. Yes, I will be working out at home tonight! The music will be up and sweats will be on (complete with bandana- please see previous post for details)! Memories of my Dairy Queen fieldtrip will get me through my hour workout! And yes, I ordered a Coke! Not a Diet Coke... a Coke! Own your Double Cheeseburger Meal, people!!!
Dear Santa (per previous post), please allow me to revise; I would like Discipline..... and Calgon.... and 12 vouchers for a FREE Double Cheeseburger Meal at Dairy Queen to get me through each 'period week' in 2011!
You know, a few days ago I was behind a man, maybe mid twenties, in line at the grocery store. He was purchasing only two items: tampons and Advil. For whatever reason, he felt the need to share his thoughts, when he looked to me and said, "I don't think you ladies understand how hard it is for us guys to buy these things." Then I shared my thoughts on his 'purchase', by looking at him and saying, "Well, are you buying EXACTLY what she told you to? The least you could do is throw in a few of her favorite candy bars and a Cosmo magazine!" He said, "Really?" I said, "Well, extra credit points aren't just for school, you know! Besides, chocolate makes us happy and if she's reading a magazine she won't be bitching at you!"
Hopefully my couple of suggestions were taken as spontaneous and thoughtful on his part. And he may not know it yet, but in a week or two, he will reap the benefits of being so spontaneous and thoughtful. The Cosmo magazine he purchased was featuring several fascinating must reads: 'Make Him Grin and Bare It Tonight', '69 New Ways to Satisfy Your Man' and 'Clothing Optional Workouts for Couples.'
No doubt he won't mind buying her 'monthly essentials', in the future!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Two Full Plates, One Zipper Down and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!
On my Christmas Wish List this year: DISCIPLINE!
Dear Santa,
Please bring me discipline! I'll take it in a pill form, a nasty tasting beverage, intravenously or even as a suppository! I NEED discipline! I also need to be friends with people who suck at cooking and who suck even more at baking! I need to attend holiday gatherings where there was a kitchen fire and all that's being served, is burnt to a crisp! Where's the friend who bakes and confuses salt for sugar? I am friends with none of these people. Damn it!
Thank you for the invites and for encouraging me to have another serving at your yummy parties. Where everyone attending is doing the same thing.... eating, drinking and being merry!!! I'm unsure how many were doing what I was doing; hiding my unzipped pants under my lengthy, cozy turtleneck!
Tis the season to be challenged by the Holiday 7! It's said that the average American gains 7 lbs from November through the New Year; 7 lbs overall, not each month. Or each week, for that matter. So far, I've gained 1. ONE POUND! The good news? My bathroom time this season is reminding me that I am eating better. If you indulge in holiday goodies after spending months eating a much improved diet, you will be spending more time in the bathroom; with your body wondering, "What the hell did you feed me? What did I ever do to you?"
I'm due to start my period the 23rd. I'm confident to share that the Holiday 7 will be exceeded this week! Okay, maybe not. More water, less PMS cravings! There was a time that I would gain anywhere from 5-12 lbs the week of my period. But, maintaining a more disciplined diet that week specifically, has reduced the weight gain (which always vanished after the period anyway) to only about 3 lbs. And the horrid migraines I used to have monthly, are no longer monthly at all. Practically quarterly, maybe less!
This Holiday 7, is this the same for both men and women? Just seems like women would gain more than 7, at least 10! Typically, the women are the ones in the kitchen, taste-testing as they go. In general, women have little to no will power. Women also have more cravings than men, and more often than men. Men crave sex! Well, a meal that includes a piece of meat that Fred Flinstone would enjoy, and then sex! If women would crave sex more, and would satisfy that craving like she does a can of pringles.... craving: SATISFIED and potential weight issue: SOLVED!!!
Dear Santa,
Please bring me discipline! I'll take it in a pill form, a nasty tasting beverage, intravenously or even as a suppository! I NEED discipline! I also need to be friends with people who suck at cooking and who suck even more at baking! I need to attend holiday gatherings where there was a kitchen fire and all that's being served, is burnt to a crisp! Where's the friend who bakes and confuses salt for sugar? I am friends with none of these people. Damn it!
Thank you for the invites and for encouraging me to have another serving at your yummy parties. Where everyone attending is doing the same thing.... eating, drinking and being merry!!! I'm unsure how many were doing what I was doing; hiding my unzipped pants under my lengthy, cozy turtleneck!
Tis the season to be challenged by the Holiday 7! It's said that the average American gains 7 lbs from November through the New Year; 7 lbs overall, not each month. Or each week, for that matter. So far, I've gained 1. ONE POUND! The good news? My bathroom time this season is reminding me that I am eating better. If you indulge in holiday goodies after spending months eating a much improved diet, you will be spending more time in the bathroom; with your body wondering, "What the hell did you feed me? What did I ever do to you?"
I'm due to start my period the 23rd. I'm confident to share that the Holiday 7 will be exceeded this week! Okay, maybe not. More water, less PMS cravings! There was a time that I would gain anywhere from 5-12 lbs the week of my period. But, maintaining a more disciplined diet that week specifically, has reduced the weight gain (which always vanished after the period anyway) to only about 3 lbs. And the horrid migraines I used to have monthly, are no longer monthly at all. Practically quarterly, maybe less!
This Holiday 7, is this the same for both men and women? Just seems like women would gain more than 7, at least 10! Typically, the women are the ones in the kitchen, taste-testing as they go. In general, women have little to no will power. Women also have more cravings than men, and more often than men. Men crave sex! Well, a meal that includes a piece of meat that Fred Flinstone would enjoy, and then sex! If women would crave sex more, and would satisfy that craving like she does a can of pringles.... craving: SATISFIED and potential weight issue: SOLVED!!!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Does your Gym sell Buttered Popcorn?
Okay... so I have no idea which is more challenging? A healthy grocery list on a $25.00 a week budget or getting to the gym on a regular basis? I try to make a game out of both! My favorite game growing up: Hide and Seek!
I love the gym! I love the feeling when I walk into the gym! I love all that I accomplish when I'm at the gym! I feel a little firmer when I leave the gym! However, I don't 'schedule' time for the gym! I don't make the gym a priority! It's typically an after thought. I do workout hard at the gym... when I go. There was a time that I was going 4, even 5 days a week, but, that was a long time ago! (calm down.... I'm working on it!)
I do tend to feel guilty if I don't go to the gym on a regular basis. Not because I'm depriving my body of a grueling workout in fluorescent lighting, but because I'm paying for it! I have a monthly membership; with a reasonable rate, considering I'm good friends with the girl who used to sleep with the owner (his ex-wife). I just need more discipline and less procrastination! It's a process..... and I am a work in progress! So, I use my hand weights, my body ball and my pilates machine; which are all conveniently located right here at home, for when I do feel consumed with guilt for not working out at the gym.
Some people ask why I have a gym membership when I can use these items at home? Well, I pay next to nothing for the membership, I workout on several more machines at the gym, and it's a chance to meet new people.
Recently, a 'new friend to be' approached me while I was on the elliptical (which I LOVE the elliptical). She said "Wow, you're really in the zone!" She also had this really impressed look on her face. I didn't think I had understood her, so I said, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She said, "Well, I said 'You're working hard!' But then you didn't hear me, so I thought, 'Wow you're really in the zone!'" Yes, I love the elliptical! Yes, I was sweaty and slightly out of breath! Yes, I was 'in the zone.' I was FOCUSED! How wonderful of her to notice! But.... I was not focused on my 'workout'..... while on the elliptical, I was watching The Food Network and the most amazing recipe for Savory Southern Fried Chicken was on. No, I did not confess that I was focusing on The Food Network! I politely shook my head in agreement that I was "in the zone." And NO, the Food Network channel should NOT be permitted in the gym! The channel that may entice people to work out hard and really, really stay focused at the gym? The Plus Size Porn channel! Is there such a channel... I have no idea! But, I am sure that if such a channel existed, and it was available at the gym, every machine would be filled, pounds would be shed and memberships would be through the roof!!! (background checks included)
Grocery list this week, did not include ingredients to Savory Southern Fried Chicken! What I do know about myself, even with the best of intentions for this process? If it's in the house, I will eat it! Even if I plan to buy something (which I have no business buying) and portion-baggie it out (it sounded reasonable in my head), I need to NOT do it! Poor decision item this week? Bugles! My intentions were to baggie them out and they'd last a while; I wasn't depriving myself of something yummy, salty and crunchy (and cute... Bugles are cute), and they were on sale! Well damn if I didn't eat the bag in two days! Yes, it was a family size bag! Yes, it was good! No, I will not be doing that again!!!
In general, I shop the perimeter. I went down actual aisles this week, one aisle for tuna (solid white) and the other for the Bugles (UUGGHH!) Chicken breast, some fresh produce, eggs, yogurt, tilapia and shrimp. (do I sound thin or what?)
OOPS, shared too soon. Did 'impulse' buy at the checkout. Berry flavored Gummie Life Savers, two bags, $1 each, no guilt to confess to, they're yummy and a couple here and there will keep me from being mean! And... I'm going to need some type of 'concession stand' goodie when I'm on the elliptical, watching The Plus Size Porn channel; my gym doesn't sell buttered popcorn!
Like I said..... work in progress!
I love the gym! I love the feeling when I walk into the gym! I love all that I accomplish when I'm at the gym! I feel a little firmer when I leave the gym! However, I don't 'schedule' time for the gym! I don't make the gym a priority! It's typically an after thought. I do workout hard at the gym... when I go. There was a time that I was going 4, even 5 days a week, but, that was a long time ago! (calm down.... I'm working on it!)
I do tend to feel guilty if I don't go to the gym on a regular basis. Not because I'm depriving my body of a grueling workout in fluorescent lighting, but because I'm paying for it! I have a monthly membership; with a reasonable rate, considering I'm good friends with the girl who used to sleep with the owner (his ex-wife). I just need more discipline and less procrastination! It's a process..... and I am a work in progress! So, I use my hand weights, my body ball and my pilates machine; which are all conveniently located right here at home, for when I do feel consumed with guilt for not working out at the gym.
Some people ask why I have a gym membership when I can use these items at home? Well, I pay next to nothing for the membership, I workout on several more machines at the gym, and it's a chance to meet new people.
Recently, a 'new friend to be' approached me while I was on the elliptical (which I LOVE the elliptical). She said "Wow, you're really in the zone!" She also had this really impressed look on her face. I didn't think I had understood her, so I said, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She said, "Well, I said 'You're working hard!' But then you didn't hear me, so I thought, 'Wow you're really in the zone!'" Yes, I love the elliptical! Yes, I was sweaty and slightly out of breath! Yes, I was 'in the zone.' I was FOCUSED! How wonderful of her to notice! But.... I was not focused on my 'workout'..... while on the elliptical, I was watching The Food Network and the most amazing recipe for Savory Southern Fried Chicken was on. No, I did not confess that I was focusing on The Food Network! I politely shook my head in agreement that I was "in the zone." And NO, the Food Network channel should NOT be permitted in the gym! The channel that may entice people to work out hard and really, really stay focused at the gym? The Plus Size Porn channel! Is there such a channel... I have no idea! But, I am sure that if such a channel existed, and it was available at the gym, every machine would be filled, pounds would be shed and memberships would be through the roof!!! (background checks included)
Grocery list this week, did not include ingredients to Savory Southern Fried Chicken! What I do know about myself, even with the best of intentions for this process? If it's in the house, I will eat it! Even if I plan to buy something (which I have no business buying) and portion-baggie it out (it sounded reasonable in my head), I need to NOT do it! Poor decision item this week? Bugles! My intentions were to baggie them out and they'd last a while; I wasn't depriving myself of something yummy, salty and crunchy (and cute... Bugles are cute), and they were on sale! Well damn if I didn't eat the bag in two days! Yes, it was a family size bag! Yes, it was good! No, I will not be doing that again!!!
In general, I shop the perimeter. I went down actual aisles this week, one aisle for tuna (solid white) and the other for the Bugles (UUGGHH!) Chicken breast, some fresh produce, eggs, yogurt, tilapia and shrimp. (do I sound thin or what?)
OOPS, shared too soon. Did 'impulse' buy at the checkout. Berry flavored Gummie Life Savers, two bags, $1 each, no guilt to confess to, they're yummy and a couple here and there will keep me from being mean! And... I'm going to need some type of 'concession stand' goodie when I'm on the elliptical, watching The Plus Size Porn channel; my gym doesn't sell buttered popcorn!
Like I said..... work in progress!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Voluptuous Shoulders may be The Real Issue!
It's Wednesday, December 8th, and for almost a week now, I've considered blogging about my love/hate relationship with food, budget, weight gain, weight loss, cellulite, middle age spread, gravity, body image, self worth, confidence, stretch marks, the gym, the compliments, the suggestions, the excuses, the jealousy, the Krispy Kreme 'HOT' sign, walks with inclines (like my driveway and the walk to the mailbox), photographs representing who I was then... who I am now... and how much I've turned into my Mother. Through my 41st year, I would like to encounter a true sense of self. Well, a sense of self and a closet full of size 8's. Loose fitting 8's! EIGHT's! ATEs!
You may be wondering why an 8? Well, because I know with an improved diet and daily workouts; whether at the gym or just walking my driveway to get the mail, I know it's feasible. I just need to work in 3D; channeling Dedication, Discipline and Determination! I also know what I weigh, what I feel like and what I look like when I wear a size 8. Besides, I don't want my size to be in double digits.... well, except my bra size!
Did I mention I'm 5'2 1/2"? Yes people, almost 5'3"!!! I weigh more than most 6' athletes! I'd like to say it's all muscle, but, I think the numbers speak for themselves! My highest... 246lbs. My current... 226lbs. My goals... A size 8 (approx 125lbs) and A true sense of self (priceless)!
What you'll find through my daily journaling, rather blogging, is that I'm painfully honest. I'm so honest, you may ask that I start lying! What got me thinking about blogging on this specific subject is, The Biggest Loser. The Biggest Loser is taking applications for their next season. Though for a very brief second I considered applying to be on the show; I then thought of all the job applications I've submitted over the last year (since my job was eliminated in Jan of 2009 because of budget cuts), and the thought of being rejected AGAIN didn't interest me. Besides, I know how to lose the weight, I just don't work in 3D all the time. Maybe there should be a 4th D: Daily!
I'd have too many stipulations for The Biggest Loser. I wouldn't permit cameras to air me working out without a bandana on my head... thanks to a 1999 diagnosed hormonal disorder, my hair is quite THIN on top. Sure, the word 'thin' may come to mind when watching The Biggest Loser, but it shouldn't reference my sparse scalp. Also, I wouldn't want the viewers to be concerned for my raw, tomato-red face; believe me, someone will want to dial a hotline! I have rosacea, and when I work out hard, my face looks like someone left it under a broiler a little too long. OUCH for the viewers' eyes and OUCH for my face... it actually stings a little, too! The rosacea diagnosis was a 40th birthday present; didn't really care for that present, but unfortunately, it wasn't returnable. Lastly, I have psoriasis. My psoriasis was diagnosed in my early 30s. Though the psoriasis can be unsightly on the elbows (I could care less about that); it's under the nails. Having no medical insurance, I no longer take Enbrel. So, for now, the nails are no longer attached. For those that are still attached, they need to be kept super short; not to catch on anything, and painted with dark polish; to not make your belly queasy. (should be back on Enbrel within the month)
Why too much information? Here comes the honesty... being an obese contestant on The Biggest Loser wouldn't bother me.... being the obese contestant, with no hair, a raw red face and nail-less fingers... well, that would have me screaming for Dr. Phil and a bartender!
So, I chose to take this journey to improved health, weight loss and an overall better sense of self, via blogging! To vent, to be honest and to be held accountable; not only to those reading, but to myself!
Why start on a Wednesday? No sense in waiting for Monday! No sense in waiting for 2011! Besides, with the few lbs I've already lost, I got a very nice, but disturbing compliment today. "Are you losing weight, your shoulders look smaller?" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Did I have husky shoulders! Can we agree to maybe call them voluptuous shoulders? That (assumingly) heartfelt compliment, is why I decided to start the blog of honesty today! Maybe someone reading this blog, also has (unknowingly) voluptuous shoulders? This blog may inspire that person to acknowledge their plus size shoulder issue? Who in the world, compliments shoulder weight loss? One body part at a time, I guess!
Without the humiliation of failure, there is no greater incentive for success!
You may be wondering why an 8? Well, because I know with an improved diet and daily workouts; whether at the gym or just walking my driveway to get the mail, I know it's feasible. I just need to work in 3D; channeling Dedication, Discipline and Determination! I also know what I weigh, what I feel like and what I look like when I wear a size 8. Besides, I don't want my size to be in double digits.... well, except my bra size!
Did I mention I'm 5'2 1/2"? Yes people, almost 5'3"!!! I weigh more than most 6' athletes! I'd like to say it's all muscle, but, I think the numbers speak for themselves! My highest... 246lbs. My current... 226lbs. My goals... A size 8 (approx 125lbs) and A true sense of self (priceless)!
What you'll find through my daily journaling, rather blogging, is that I'm painfully honest. I'm so honest, you may ask that I start lying! What got me thinking about blogging on this specific subject is, The Biggest Loser. The Biggest Loser is taking applications for their next season. Though for a very brief second I considered applying to be on the show; I then thought of all the job applications I've submitted over the last year (since my job was eliminated in Jan of 2009 because of budget cuts), and the thought of being rejected AGAIN didn't interest me. Besides, I know how to lose the weight, I just don't work in 3D all the time. Maybe there should be a 4th D: Daily!
I'd have too many stipulations for The Biggest Loser. I wouldn't permit cameras to air me working out without a bandana on my head... thanks to a 1999 diagnosed hormonal disorder, my hair is quite THIN on top. Sure, the word 'thin' may come to mind when watching The Biggest Loser, but it shouldn't reference my sparse scalp. Also, I wouldn't want the viewers to be concerned for my raw, tomato-red face; believe me, someone will want to dial a hotline! I have rosacea, and when I work out hard, my face looks like someone left it under a broiler a little too long. OUCH for the viewers' eyes and OUCH for my face... it actually stings a little, too! The rosacea diagnosis was a 40th birthday present; didn't really care for that present, but unfortunately, it wasn't returnable. Lastly, I have psoriasis. My psoriasis was diagnosed in my early 30s. Though the psoriasis can be unsightly on the elbows (I could care less about that); it's under the nails. Having no medical insurance, I no longer take Enbrel. So, for now, the nails are no longer attached. For those that are still attached, they need to be kept super short; not to catch on anything, and painted with dark polish; to not make your belly queasy. (should be back on Enbrel within the month)
Why too much information? Here comes the honesty... being an obese contestant on The Biggest Loser wouldn't bother me.... being the obese contestant, with no hair, a raw red face and nail-less fingers... well, that would have me screaming for Dr. Phil and a bartender!
So, I chose to take this journey to improved health, weight loss and an overall better sense of self, via blogging! To vent, to be honest and to be held accountable; not only to those reading, but to myself!
Why start on a Wednesday? No sense in waiting for Monday! No sense in waiting for 2011! Besides, with the few lbs I've already lost, I got a very nice, but disturbing compliment today. "Are you losing weight, your shoulders look smaller?" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Did I have husky shoulders! Can we agree to maybe call them voluptuous shoulders? That (assumingly) heartfelt compliment, is why I decided to start the blog of honesty today! Maybe someone reading this blog, also has (unknowingly) voluptuous shoulders? This blog may inspire that person to acknowledge their plus size shoulder issue? Who in the world, compliments shoulder weight loss? One body part at a time, I guess!
Without the humiliation of failure, there is no greater incentive for success!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
In Honor of Gerald Curtis Hickman
In speaking with a high school friend this morning, we spoke of health and family. We also spoke briefly of blogging; and how writing, journaling and blogging can lead to laughter and reflection. But more importantly, what a stress release it can be. I was flattered when she said she read the blogs, and that she does have a good laugh!
Laughter is essential! Reflection is also essential!
What you are about to read is an actual email I sent to my 'ex' mother in law, I happen to still keep in touch with. I don't know how common that is, but I appreciate and love her just the same.
My son Shane and I took two separate trips to Ohio in the fall of 2008. One trip to visit Jerry in the hospital, and the other, two weeks later, to attend his funeral.
Though Jerry and my mom never married, they were together for twenty years. He was visiting Ohio that summer, when he fell ill. (cancer diagnosis) Though he really wanted to get well and get back to FL with her, to fulfill travel plans they had made together (mom had just retired), God had different plans for Jerry.
It's been two years since Jerry lost his battle with cancer.
When you read the following response I sent to my 'ex' mother in law, after she asked how our trip was and how my mom was; I hope your heart opens. I hope you feel sadness, love, empathy and appreciation.
You really should live each day until God takes you home!
Your tomorrow is an assumption, not a guarantee!
Take a deep breath, be grateful for that breath and make the most of your day!
*So very glad we were so fortunate to have seen Jerry over that weekend the two weeks before he did pass. Grateful he was awake and aware and happy to see us. He was telling his daughter Debbie about Shane's car and what a nice car it was. He and Shane spoke briefly about sports. Kept saying how cold he was. I jabbed at him for watching the girly movies on Lifetime Network. He wanted me to guess at his weight loss- guess a figure/number- I looked at him and said "Well, I'm going to need to hold your hand." So I did, and said, "45 lbs." He said I was close, "almost 50." I knew he wasn't himself and that his illness (understatement) was getting the better of him. He is never cold- and in the hospital, he couldn't get warm enough. His white hair was standing straight up, I told him he looked like Elvis (i loved it)- he was hoping to have gotten it cut. (it wasn't even long) I couldn't resist stroking his hair even more and make it stand up; calling him, the white haired Elvis! I remember Mom telling him she was taking us to Penn Station for lunch (sub shop) and all he could talk about was their french fries. He was going on and on about the french fries. The poor man wasn't allowed to eat anything for a few days and here he was talking up the Penn Station french fries. Telling us to have a good time and have a fry for him. When we left OH, I wanted to stay hopeful that he would gain strength to make it back to FL, but I also knew in spending that time with him; Shane and I both knew, we were happy we got to see him and spend some time with him.
Our visit was great. Shane and I thought the scenic drive was stunning. I remember him on the phone with someone from work talking about how "beautiful this part of the country was." TN into KY is just beautiful, especially in fall. We arrived back in GA Saturday evening 9/27, Shane caught an earlier flight on 9/28 to catch the Dallas game- Jerry had a decent week and the I remember calling Mom on Mon 10/6, and she was saying they almost lost him that morning. Shortly after, he announced 'no orders' with the doctors and nurses.
In speaking with Mom, and with all that was shared, it didn't look like a good week. Angela nor I thought it was going to be a good week. We worried for Jerry and we worried for Mom, because she was there with no family for herself. He passed that Fri 10/10. He has three children and on 10/10 his middle son turned 50 and his youngest Debbie, turned 49. On Fri, Mom said he was up at midnight and really all he wanted to do was talk- he and she talked all through the night. He then said he wanted to go see his Mom and Dad (he was an only child) and his dog (he recalled a childhood pet he had). He also asked that Mom tell (various names) friends and golfing buddies (various) messages and goodbyes. I guess the pain got so bad, he asked my Mom to go get the gun from the closet. (she knows nothing about a gun) She tried to keep it light and hopeful after that statement. She told him that if he wanted to go see his Mom and Dad, that he should- that she was okay and the kids were okay- everyone was okay. He got quiet and peaceful around 5:30am, mumbled something at 8am and passed at 10:24am. His daughter Debbie had just come in to relieve Mom- Mom was going to go home and take a shower (normally this happens in the afternoon- not morning)- Mom stepped out at 10:15 or so, made it to the parking garage- for whatever reason took a wrong turn (still within the garage), because her mind was on Jerry, and then she got a call to come back in. When she got back in, they said he had passed. Nurses and Debbie expressed to Mom, "He waited for you to leave." He wanted to spare her feelings. She sat with him and talked to him until they came to get him 12:30pm. I talked with her a little then- so did Angela. He was born on the 14th, he was diagnosed (w/ the severity) on the 14th and he was laid to rest on the 14th. One of the most beautiful cemeteries I've ever seen. Not that I tour cemeteries- but just gorgeous!!! I told Mom that he and we may have wanted him in FL, but his parents and God had a different plan. He was laid to rest next to his parents- as an only child- I think that is a wonderful story. His parents bought a family plot some time ago. I believe his Grandmother is there as well.
I do think that everything happens for a reason. I do think that over their 20 year relationship, the last three months were challenging and wonderful at the same time and the last several hours were cherished moments and words were simply a blessing. We left OH the morning of the 15th and Shane left out of Atlanta on the 16th. Gary, Jerry's son, called at one point on the 17th to tell Mom that after the service and gathering of family and friends (on the 14th)- he had returned home (Jerry's home) and when he went to turn on the outside light- it never even came on. The light had been turned on every night. The bulb was now burned out.
It's amazing that we can laugh and cry at the same time.
Mom is doing okay- Dr has her on something- She calls it her happy pill. I told her it was okay to cry- she said she was crying at EVERYTHING. So, her pills help. She sounds really good. I speak with her almost everyday- which is normal anyway.
Shane was sad. Shane, like me, was grateful for the initial visit.
I know- your eyes are burning from all the reading! My eyes are puffy & pink because I teared up the whole time. It's a happy ending though....... I just know it!
Laughter is essential! Reflection is also essential!
What you are about to read is an actual email I sent to my 'ex' mother in law, I happen to still keep in touch with. I don't know how common that is, but I appreciate and love her just the same.
My son Shane and I took two separate trips to Ohio in the fall of 2008. One trip to visit Jerry in the hospital, and the other, two weeks later, to attend his funeral.
Though Jerry and my mom never married, they were together for twenty years. He was visiting Ohio that summer, when he fell ill. (cancer diagnosis) Though he really wanted to get well and get back to FL with her, to fulfill travel plans they had made together (mom had just retired), God had different plans for Jerry.
It's been two years since Jerry lost his battle with cancer.
When you read the following response I sent to my 'ex' mother in law, after she asked how our trip was and how my mom was; I hope your heart opens. I hope you feel sadness, love, empathy and appreciation.
You really should live each day until God takes you home!
Your tomorrow is an assumption, not a guarantee!
Take a deep breath, be grateful for that breath and make the most of your day!
*So very glad we were so fortunate to have seen Jerry over that weekend the two weeks before he did pass. Grateful he was awake and aware and happy to see us. He was telling his daughter Debbie about Shane's car and what a nice car it was. He and Shane spoke briefly about sports. Kept saying how cold he was. I jabbed at him for watching the girly movies on Lifetime Network. He wanted me to guess at his weight loss- guess a figure/number- I looked at him and said "Well, I'm going to need to hold your hand." So I did, and said, "45 lbs." He said I was close, "almost 50." I knew he wasn't himself and that his illness (understatement) was getting the better of him. He is never cold- and in the hospital, he couldn't get warm enough. His white hair was standing straight up, I told him he looked like Elvis (i loved it)- he was hoping to have gotten it cut. (it wasn't even long) I couldn't resist stroking his hair even more and make it stand up; calling him, the white haired Elvis! I remember Mom telling him she was taking us to Penn Station for lunch (sub shop) and all he could talk about was their french fries. He was going on and on about the french fries. The poor man wasn't allowed to eat anything for a few days and here he was talking up the Penn Station french fries. Telling us to have a good time and have a fry for him. When we left OH, I wanted to stay hopeful that he would gain strength to make it back to FL, but I also knew in spending that time with him; Shane and I both knew, we were happy we got to see him and spend some time with him.
Our visit was great. Shane and I thought the scenic drive was stunning. I remember him on the phone with someone from work talking about how "beautiful this part of the country was." TN into KY is just beautiful, especially in fall. We arrived back in GA Saturday evening 9/27, Shane caught an earlier flight on 9/28 to catch the Dallas game- Jerry had a decent week and the I remember calling Mom on Mon 10/6, and she was saying they almost lost him that morning. Shortly after, he announced 'no orders' with the doctors and nurses.
In speaking with Mom, and with all that was shared, it didn't look like a good week. Angela nor I thought it was going to be a good week. We worried for Jerry and we worried for Mom, because she was there with no family for herself. He passed that Fri 10/10. He has three children and on 10/10 his middle son turned 50 and his youngest Debbie, turned 49. On Fri, Mom said he was up at midnight and really all he wanted to do was talk- he and she talked all through the night. He then said he wanted to go see his Mom and Dad (he was an only child) and his dog (he recalled a childhood pet he had). He also asked that Mom tell (various names) friends and golfing buddies (various) messages and goodbyes. I guess the pain got so bad, he asked my Mom to go get the gun from the closet. (she knows nothing about a gun) She tried to keep it light and hopeful after that statement. She told him that if he wanted to go see his Mom and Dad, that he should- that she was okay and the kids were okay- everyone was okay. He got quiet and peaceful around 5:30am, mumbled something at 8am and passed at 10:24am. His daughter Debbie had just come in to relieve Mom- Mom was going to go home and take a shower (normally this happens in the afternoon- not morning)- Mom stepped out at 10:15 or so, made it to the parking garage- for whatever reason took a wrong turn (still within the garage), because her mind was on Jerry, and then she got a call to come back in. When she got back in, they said he had passed. Nurses and Debbie expressed to Mom, "He waited for you to leave." He wanted to spare her feelings. She sat with him and talked to him until they came to get him 12:30pm. I talked with her a little then- so did Angela. He was born on the 14th, he was diagnosed (w/ the severity) on the 14th and he was laid to rest on the 14th. One of the most beautiful cemeteries I've ever seen. Not that I tour cemeteries- but just gorgeous!!! I told Mom that he and we may have wanted him in FL, but his parents and God had a different plan. He was laid to rest next to his parents- as an only child- I think that is a wonderful story. His parents bought a family plot some time ago. I believe his Grandmother is there as well.
I do think that everything happens for a reason. I do think that over their 20 year relationship, the last three months were challenging and wonderful at the same time and the last several hours were cherished moments and words were simply a blessing. We left OH the morning of the 15th and Shane left out of Atlanta on the 16th. Gary, Jerry's son, called at one point on the 17th to tell Mom that after the service and gathering of family and friends (on the 14th)- he had returned home (Jerry's home) and when he went to turn on the outside light- it never even came on. The light had been turned on every night. The bulb was now burned out.
It's amazing that we can laugh and cry at the same time.
Mom is doing okay- Dr has her on something- She calls it her happy pill. I told her it was okay to cry- she said she was crying at EVERYTHING. So, her pills help. She sounds really good. I speak with her almost everyday- which is normal anyway.
Shane was sad. Shane, like me, was grateful for the initial visit.
I know- your eyes are burning from all the reading! My eyes are puffy & pink because I teared up the whole time. It's a happy ending though....... I just know it!
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